The Babysitter script

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The Babysitter (2017)

 movie script

Directed by

McG

Written by

Brian Duffield

The Babysitter logo inverse

When Cole stays up past his bedtime, he discovers that his hot babysitter is part of a satanic cult that will stop at nothing to keep him quiet.

TRANSCRIPTION

1
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,357
I don't need it. I'm telling you.

2
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:28,028
Just because you don't feel sick now
doesn't mean you don't need the shot.

3
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,989
I never get sick, okay?
You can take that and give it to Barry.

4
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:34,826
-His nose is always running.
-What are you giving me shit for?

5
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:38,788
I saw you earlier today. We said hi.
I said, "Cole." You said, "Mr. Daisy."

6
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:42,041
Why are you giving me shit today?
I mean, it's just a needle, man.

7
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:47,172
Damn. Come here, get the shot.
Ain't nothing to be scared of.

8
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:50,759
There's 62 kids came here,
got a shot, no problem.

9
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:54,179
You come in here, take ten minutes?
I got 84 kids more to go. Okay?

10
00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:57,223
We're boys. Be cool. Shit, man.
Are you gonna take this shot?

11
00:00:57,307 --> 00:01:00,310
Step over here and take the shot,
just like you'd take some ass.

12
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,604
There's nothing to be scared of.

13
00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:04,355
I'm not scared.

14
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,610
[Cole screaming]

15
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:17,869
Pussy!

16
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,459
[school bell rings]

17
00:01:27,295 --> 00:01:29,839
[Melanie] Did you know only one baby
was born on the Mayflower?

18
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,050
How crazy is that shit?

19
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,719
His name was literally Oceanus.

20
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,513
He didn't even have a nationality.

21
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:38,973
Just a citizen of the sea, I guess.

22
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,434
What class did you learn that in?

23
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:45,188
[scoffs] No one learns anything in class.
That's why we have the Internet.

24
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,234
[rap music playing over speakers]

25
00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,694
[Melanie sighs] There's my dad.

26
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,613
[Melanie's dad] Melanie, get over here.

27
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:55,532
It was his high-school dream car.

28
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:59,536
He got it after the divorce
to make Mom jealous, but...

29
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:02,205
-it didn't work because it's a car.
-[Melanie's dad] Now.

30
00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:06,209
Dad, can we give Cole a ride home?

31
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:09,754
Cole, are your parents expecting you
to take the bus home?

32
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,549
-I guess so.
-Yeah, they are.

33
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,551
So, you should take the bus, okay, sport?

34
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,178
Sorry, dude.
I'll see you, though, neighbor, huh?

35
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,888
-I didn't--
-What's that?

36
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:19,973
[engine revving]

37
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,768
-NASCAR Nation, bitch. Whoo!
-[Melanie] Dad--

38
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,273
[Melanie] Dad!

39
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:46,499
[Jeremy]
Ooh-whah, ooh-whah. Ooh-whah, ooh-whah.

40
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:47,876
Well, well, well.

41
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,129
[Jeremy] Hey, Colonoscopy.
How's it hanging?

42
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,756
I don't know. Okay?

43
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,301
Well, speaking of hanging,
have your balls dropped yet?

44
00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:59,929
-[boys laughing]
-[Cole mumbling]

45
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,056
I didn't catch that.

46
00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:05,685
I said,
"Why are you so interested in my balls?"

47
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:07,645
Last thing he cares about is your balls.

48
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,481
[Jeremy] Yeah, 'cause on Saturday,
I hooked up with Shelly MacEntyre.

49
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,399
The sophomore?

50
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:15,111
The sophomore.
But in many ways, she was a senior.

51
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:18,197
-I don't believe you.
-You don't need to believe him.

52
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,909
It's not like your belief will validate
what happens to his dick.

53
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:22,035
Wanna know how it was?

54
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,496
No, not really.

55
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,999
Well, see,
as a 14-year-old in that kind of situation

56
00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:30,501
with a 16-year-old
that looks like Shelly MacEntyre,

57
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,128
it was overwhelming, man.

58
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,297
I mean, she is a woman.

59
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,967
Fully-developed, man.
It's crazy, man. It's... [grunts]

60
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,594
Man, you know what I'm saying?

61
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,389
I said, do you know what I'm saying?

62
00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:46,726
You just said it didn't matter
if I believed you.

63
00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:49,938
-Well, I changed my mind, bitch.
-Sorry, I wasn't--

64
00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,859
[Jeremy] Oh, my God. He's so weird.
[laughs]

65
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,446
Ooh-whah, ooh-whah. Ooh-whah, ooh-whah.

66
00:03:58,529 --> 00:03:59,364
[woman] Hey!

67
00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:07,747
Did you just touch Cole?

68
00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:10,541
-So, what if I did?
-[woman] Jeremy, check it out.

69
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,628
You so much as think about Cole again...

70
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,048
and I'm gonna...

71
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:18,299
[inaudible dialogue]

72
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:21,803
♪ The girls wanna be her
The boys wanna be her ♪

73
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,263
You crazy bitch.

74
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,225
♪ The girls wanna be her ♪

75
00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:29,185
-[tire hissing]
-Now get out of here!

76
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:32,188
Before I run you over,
you little Pap smear.

77
00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:36,484
-Hey, Coley.
-[Cole] Hey, Bee.

78
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:39,904
These are new.

79
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,824
Yeah, I have to wear them sometimes.

80
00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:45,326
They supposedly help strengthen
my left eye,

81
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:48,621
-but I can't tell the difference.
-You look pretty strong to me.

82
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:50,790
You skin your palms?

83
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,918
-It doesn't hurt.
-Yeah, it does. Come here.

84
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,512
-They bother you a lot?
-No.

85
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,475
You look away when you lie, dude.
They the ones that egg your house?

86
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:15,398
[sighs, clicks tongue]
You gotta punch them in the dick.

87
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:18,776
And if they're chasing you,
wait until they've almost got you,

88
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,446
drop like a bag of rocks,
then when they trip over you,

89
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,990
and they're on the ground,
kick them in the dick.

90
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:30,204
-Hey, so, tell me, how's the folks?
-Better, I think.

91
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:32,165
Hotel therapy's working?

92
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,042
[chuckles] No, come on, it's great.

93
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:38,046
I mean, they're happy,
we get to hang out, and I get paid.

94
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:41,340
-I'm like your little Protestant.
-[chuckles] What?

95
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,801
'Cause, like, I have to pay you
to hang out with me.

96
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,095
Are you trying to say "prostitute"?

97
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:47,513
Oh, my God--

98
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,808
No, that would make me the prostitute
and your parents the clients.

99
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,269
That is a terrible analogy.
That is the worst one ever.

100
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,605
-Oh...
-Besides,

101
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,607
I'd wanna hang out with you either way.

102
00:05:58,357 --> 00:05:59,192
Really?

103
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,985
One hundred percent.

104
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:05,573
I got two years tops before you're
too cool to hang out with me.

105
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:07,533
I'll never be too cool.

106
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,706
[Bee]
Hey, is that the roof of your tree house?

107
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,708
[Cole]
Yeah, we just started to take it down.

108
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,711
I-- I don't care. I mean, my, uh--

109
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,588
Tree houses are for kids anyway.

110
00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:23,758
There's a lot of good memories
in there, right?

111
00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:26,219
Yeah.

112
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:29,972
All right, tomorrow night. You. Me. Party.

113
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:31,641
Sounds good.

114
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,060
[gulps]

115
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:35,645
[Bee grunts]

116
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:41,943
[gulps]

117
00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:43,111
E.T. fingers.

118
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:45,863
[both buzzing]

119
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:48,408
-All right. See you, Cee.
-Bye-bye, Bee.

120
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:50,993
[car door squeaks]

121
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:54,622
Gotta get that door fixed.
You're still giving this to me, right?

122
00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:57,625
-One hundred percent.
-Can't have a sticky door on my car.

123
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:24,485
Hey, Mom!

124
00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,362
[Mom] Hey! Cole.

125
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:30,408
Cole, can you hand me one
of those traps, please?

126
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,076
Ow.

127
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,287
-Thanks. Hi.
-Hi.

128
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:35,997
[grunts] Thanks, buddy.

129
00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:39,959
[groans] God. God.

130
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:42,587
Mom, how can you be under there?
There's like a trillion spiders.

131
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:46,466
[Mom] Cole, I don't like it under here.
It's pretty much the worst.

132
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,594
-Do you think I'm a pussy, Mom?
-[thud] Ow.

133
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,679
[Mom] Do you know what that word means?

134
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:53,598
-[Cole] Yeah, like, afraid of everything.
-Ow.

135
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,017
Um...

136
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:57,477
Huh.

137
00:07:58,186 --> 00:07:59,437
Well... [sighs]

138
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:05,526
I think... you are at a time in your life

139
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:08,446
where a lot of things are scary.

140
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:13,743
But as you get older, those same things
will stop frightening you as much.

141
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,161
Okay?

142
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:18,831
It's gonna be okay.

143
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:23,169
[Cole] You should really get some
bug spray to kill the spiders in there.

144
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:26,506
What have they done to you?
They eat other dirty bugs.

145
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,257
Hey, will you get me a lemonade?

146
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,342
-Yep.
-Thanks.

147
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:34,597
Mom, I know "pussy" also means "vagina."
I'm not retarded.

148
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:40,436
Cole Johnson. Do not say "retarded."

149
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:43,022
-But I can say "pussy" or "vagi--"
-[drill whirring]

150
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:44,232
Don't say it, okay?

151
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:45,816
Go get me a lemonade.

152
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:51,656
Oh, my God, he said "pussy."

153
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:54,242
[man] Breathe in. Breathe out.

154
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,827
-Unclench that sphincter.
-[Cole] Okay.

155
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,413
-How those mirrors looking?
-Looking good.

156
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:00,373
Parking brakes?

157
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:02,166
Nope.

158
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,293
-Hands?
-Ten and two.

159
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:05,878
Engage.

160
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,964
[engine revs, fades]

161
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:15,304
Dad, did you know that seven teenagers
die a day from driving?

162
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,139
Really? Wow.

163
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:21,852
Did you know that, uh, 14 teenagers
die a day from over-worrying?

164
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,563
I went on the Internet,

165
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,107
and there's pictures of them.
They die like this:

166
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,279
Maybe next week.

167
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,115
All right, buddy, sure. You wanna swap?

168
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,450
-Yeah.
-Good. All right. You did good.

169
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,704
You started the car,
you put the seat belt on.

170
00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:42,123
Don't worry about it, pal.
There's no rush.

171
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,917
It's okay to be scared.
It's not a big deal, okay?

172
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,672
Hey, let me ask you something.
Do your friends--

173
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,049
Do they make fun of you
for having a babysitter?

174
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,426
Yeah.

175
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:56,012
But then they see her
and get really jealous.

176
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,806
Yeah. Heck, yeah, they do. [chuckles]

177
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,851
I don't know about you, buddy,
but I'm feeling like a cop.

178
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,145
I'm craving some donuts.

179
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,730
[shouting]

180
00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:08,941
[Dad] All right!

181
00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:12,653
[both laughing]

182
00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:19,452
What are you watching?

183
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,829
Your dad is bingeing on Mad Men.

184
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:22,872
Again.

185
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:24,373
You wouldn't like it.

186
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,125
It's on HBO?

187
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,794
-[chuckles]
-No, it's not-- It's not dirty, buddy.

188
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:29,754
It's not on HBO.

189
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:32,256
It's dense, you know.
So, it might go over your head.

190
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:35,092
When you get a little older,
we'll binge-watch it together.

191
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,052
How about that?

192
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,971
-[Cole] All right.
-Cole, will you clean up the toys

193
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,139
in the hallway for me?

194
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:41,557
Okay, Mom. Jeez.

195
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,475
Thank you.

196
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:49,607
[Cole] Much cleaner.

197
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:15,341
Who cares?

198
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:17,510
Hey. Oh.

199
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,762
Hey, that doesn't seem safe at all.

200
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:21,639
-I can handle it.
-Yeah. No, I get it.

201
00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:22,640
Stop. Stop.

202
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:24,266
And hand me the knife.

203
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,020
Fabulous.
Why you cutting up your car with a knife?

204
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,731
I'm gonna switch the roof
with a fastback,

205
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,024
-so it's aerodynamic.
-Uh-huh.

206
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,276
It's gonna give me more downforce
on the turns.

207
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,362
When it hits the ramp,
it'll do a barrel roll

208
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,823
and smash into the crash zone
exactly how I intend--

209
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:41,617
Got it, got it.
I applaud your passion for aerodynamics.

210
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:44,829
I absolutely do, but only use this
if you're cutting a flank steak.

211
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:46,455
And don't do that. That's my job.

212
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,291
And if you take that job,
what am I doing at this house?

213
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,252
Do you want me to put it back?

214
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:52,962
[Dad] No. I'm gonna put this
in the dishwasher,

215
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,172
'cause it's coated in my sweat and fear.

216
00:11:57,174 --> 00:12:00,344
My parents are going away again.
I think they go to have sex,

217
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,347
but it just makes me feel like they go
to get away from me.

218
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:05,975
They're definitely having sex.

219
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:07,935
They probably have sex
when you're home, too.

220
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:12,064
Besides, I bet Bee has boys over
at your place all the time doing it.

221
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,190
Nope. No.

222
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,567
No way. Not a chance.

223
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:17,403
Yeah. That's what babysitters do.

224
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:21,657
They put the kids down,
sneak their boyfriends in. Doing it.

225
00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:25,745
Seriously, have you ever been awake
after she's fallen asleep?

226
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,956
I dare you to stay up tonight. You'll see.

227
00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,167
I'm gonna find out.

228
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,003
-Perv.
-No! I'm choking!

229
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,629
-[Melanie laughing]
-[Cole shouting]

230
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:17,296
[boy] Pussy!

231
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:18,506
[school bell rings]

232
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:23,469
Honey, not that I'm rushing you,
but weren't we supposed to leave at five?

233
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:25,596
[Mom] No, honey,
5:30 to avoid holiday traffic.

234
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,181
We were supposed to leave at five.

235
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:29,850
Don't move the furniture around.
We just did the floors.

236
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,852
-I don't want your mom yelling.
-[Cole] Got it.

237
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,522
I don't yell at you.
I just speak in all caps.

238
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:36,315
Right. That's what I love about her.

239
00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:38,609
-[doorbell rings]
-Here. Get that. It's probably Bee.

240
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:39,610
[Cole] Okay.

241
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,987
-[Mom] Can you hurry up?
-[Dad] Yes.

242
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,241
[exhales deeply]

243
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,663
-What up, Cee?
-What up, Bee?

244
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:51,747
[both buzzing]

245
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,750
-[Mom] Hey, Bee. How are you?
-Oh, you know, can't complain.

246
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:56,502
-[Mom] Good.
-Where to this weekend?

247
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,879
-Uh... The Hyatt. Living large.
-Mm!

248
00:13:58,963 --> 00:13:59,797
[Dad] Can't find it!

249
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,841
Uh, try the bottom drawer
under your Invisalign.

250
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,261
Um, anyway, you know the drill.

251
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:08,138
No violent movies,
no junk food, bed by ten.

252
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,932
-[Cole] Mom.
-Bed by 10:30?

253
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,559
-[Cole] You serious?
-[Bee] Anything else?

254
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,769
Uh, there is not a bathing suit
in that bedroom.

255
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,188
[Mom] Then, honey,
I don't know what to tell you.

256
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,481
-I'm not up there.
-[Dad] Okay.

257
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:18,857
[sighs]

258
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:22,111
-He's totally gonna bring his jean shorts.
-[Cole] Mom, he calls them jorts.

259
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:25,531
-Well, we'll be fine. I can handle him.
-I know. You're the best.

260
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:28,200
-[Dad] I'm bringing my jorts.
-[Mom] I knew it!

261
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,953
-[Dad] I'm bringing my jorts.
-I knew it. Great.

262
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,414
I will be the envy of women everywhere.

263
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:35,958
Hey, uh, Bee,
call us if there's any trouble, okay?

264
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:38,085
-Cole, don't cause any trouble.
-[Cole] Dad, I know.

265
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:39,545
You know what, honey?

266
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,464
-You got your flu shot, so no exertion.
-[Cole] Mom.

267
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,009
-Yeah, no running around. Board games.
-[Cole] Got it. Okay?

268
00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:50,264
Hey, Cole, remember,
you're the man of the house now.

269
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:51,849
That's sweet. You are.

270
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:54,018
-We love you. Bye, Bee.
-I love you. Have fun.

271
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,270
-[Dad] But not too much fun.
-[Mom] Not too much.

272
00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:58,564
[Foghat's
"I Just Want to Make Love to You" playing]

273
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:09,241
♪ I don't want you cook my bread ♪

274
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:13,162
♪ I don't want you make my bed ♪

275
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:17,082
♪ I don't want you to be true ♪

276
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:21,211
♪ I just want to make love to you ♪

277
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:32,181
♪ I don't want you be no slave ♪

278
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:36,060
♪ I don't want you to be sad and blue ♪

279
00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:39,897
♪ I just want to make love to you ♪

280
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,026
[Cole] No way you're gonna beat my dive.

281
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:52,409
So, you're basically saying,
intergalactic dream team on a mission.

282
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:56,038
-Yeah. So, there's an epic villain, right?
-Right.

283
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,165
Okay, so, you have to fill a starship...

284
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:03,295
full of the best people or aliens
or robots to take them down.

285
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,089
-How many seats have I got?
-Five.

286
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:07,466
-Five?
-Six, if you need, like, a duo.

287
00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:09,510
But you can't have a Predator
and Xenomorph.

288
00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:11,387
They'd fight. The mission would be futile.

289
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:12,805
No, no, okay, I get it.

290
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:16,100
All right. One... Kirk.

291
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,226
Two, Picard.

292
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:20,688
Three, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum
from Independence Day.

293
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:24,942
Five, Ripley, and six...
Are you ready for this shit?

294
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,860
A Xenomorph egg.

295
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,237
-No way.
-Yeah.

296
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:31,782
Yes. Yes. Okay. Here's the plan.

297
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,702
Kirk and Picard team up to captain,
then when they get close,

298
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:37,121
they send Will and Goldblum
to get inside the lair.

299
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:39,123
-They have experience with that.
-Fair.

300
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,667
Now, this whole time,
Ripley's been bitching

301
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,795
about the Xenomorph egg and shit,
'cause that's her move.

302
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,130
But she's gotta do this.

303
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:48,590
-It's the only way to save the world.
-The universe.

304
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,550
Right! Exactly!

305
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:52,594
So,
Will and Goldblum get her inside the lair.

306
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:57,016
Ripley personally drops off the egg,
the facehugger attacks the big bad!

307
00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:00,394
Ripley makes it back to Will and Goldblum,
the big bad attacks them,

308
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,979
they narrowly escape.

309
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:05,107
Kirk and Picard supply cover
as the spacecraft returns home,

310
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:09,445
then they peace out of there. Meanwhile,
the big bad starts feeling like shit...

311
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:12,072
-[groaning]
-[both shouting]

312
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:15,284
He's out!

313
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:21,498
Who said he was a he?

314
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:26,378
-Shut up. A woman just saved the galaxy.
-Are facehuggers female?

315
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,172
No, 'cause they got dicks.

316
00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:31,091
Oh, so, you're saying it took a dick
to save the galaxy.

317
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:34,136
-I want a do-over.
-[grunts]

318
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,889
-I want a do-over.
-No do-overs.

319
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:40,392
Come on. Aliens don't abide
by our primitive gender stereotypes.

320
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,352
-What's done is done.
-You suck.

321
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:47,149
-You suck, and I hope you die.
-You couldn't live without me.

322
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:50,569
It would definitely affect my income.
So, you're probably right.

323
00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:51,487
[timer dings]

324
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,113
-Pizza!
-Pizza!

325
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:59,828
[Bee and actor 1] Big Indian Chief.
So special. So above the law.

326
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:03,248
I told you, you'd make a mistake,
and I'd be waiting.

327
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:09,254
[Cole and actor 2] It doesn't look
like I have any choice, does it?

328
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:11,882
[Bee and actor 1 laugh]
That's right. You don't.

329
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,635
[Cole and actor 2]
I'm gonna take this right foot...

330
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,932
and I'm gonna whop you
on that side of your face.

331
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,601
And you wanna know something?

332
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,771
There's not a damn thing
you're gonna be able to do about it.

333
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,607
-[Bee and actor 1] Really?
-[Cole and actor 2] Really.

334
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,612
[Bee and actor 1]
Kill that Indian son of a bitch.

335
00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:35,197
[grunting and shouting]

336
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,744
[both laughing]

337
00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:44,873
Think my parents are gonna get a divorce?

338
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:48,752
I don't know, man. I hope not.

339
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,631
Melanie's parents got divorced.
Her mom lives with her boyfriend.

340
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:53,799
That's gross.

341
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,469
Isn't that the cute chick
across the street?

342
00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:00,430
Ms. Dryer is not cute. She's gross.

343
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:01,849
Her boyfriend's like 20.

344
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,518
Not her. Melanie.

345
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,230
I wouldn't say she's cute.

346
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:11,066
Oh, I would.
I would say she's super-duper cute.

347
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:14,319
[stammers] I see what you're trying to do.
It's not gonna work.

348
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,488
Whatever. You want your tongues to touch.

349
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:18,073
Nope. No way.

350
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:21,076
-Oh, you're in denial.
-You're an... asshole.

351
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,786
[laughing]

352
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,997
Oh, my God. That was so great.

353
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:29,543
But you'll be all right
if your parents break up.

354
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:32,588
I mean...
you just gotta take care of yourself.

355
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:36,508
Gotta figure out what you want,
and then do what you can to get it.

356
00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:40,929
[Cole sighs]

357
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:44,683
[both chuckle]

358
00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:46,560
Ah, shit, dude, it's super late.

359
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,397
-I'm not tired.
-Well, I know you're not. I am.

360
00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:54,443
[snaps fingers]
If I give you a shot, will you go to bed?

361
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:58,405
-I don't know, maybe.
-I'll make it a double.

362
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,241
-You'll sleep like a rock.
-Okay.

363
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,287
Here you are, my good sir.

364
00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:08,040
Don't say a word of this to your parents.

365
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,501
My dad lets me drink Mike's all the time.

366
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:13,962
Dude, that is the coolest thing
I've ever heard in my life.

367
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,470
You're not gonna do it with me?

368
00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:25,057
All right, sure. I'll be right back.

369
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:47,621
[coughing]

370
00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:48,914
You did it without me?

371
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,251
Cheers.

372
00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:54,336
Whew.

373
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,340
-[Melanie on phone] She's getting laid.
-[chuckles]

374
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,717
-I'm gonna find out.
-Wow, I'm impressed.

375
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:03,345
That's actually pervy, though,
watching people do it.

376
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:06,640
I'm not a perv. I just wanna know
what happens after I go to sleep.

377
00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:09,601
I gotta go.

378
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:11,645
[phone beeps]

379
00:21:11,728 --> 00:21:14,064
-No.
-[footsteps approaching]

380
00:21:14,856 --> 00:21:15,857
[knock on door]

381
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,359
Enter.

382
00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:19,861
You sleepy?

383
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,364
Yeah, I'm really tired.

384
00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:25,742
Well, rest up.
The party continues tomorrow.

385
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,912
You need anything? All right.

386
00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:30,539
-Bee?
-Yeah?

387
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:37,754
Thanks for knowing me
and treating me like I was okay.

388
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:42,134
You don't think you're okay?

389
00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:49,891
I mean...

390
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:54,646
I wanna feel normal, but...

391
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,068
I just feel weird most of the time.

392
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:04,990
Well, I like weird.

393
00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:07,367
All of the time.

394
00:22:09,202 --> 00:22:12,664
So, just imagine how all the girls
are gonna love you when you're a senior.

395
00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:14,750
[sniffles]

396
00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:17,669
See you in the morning.

397
00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:19,254
Good night, dude.

398
00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:35,187
[doorbell rings]

399
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,564
[people chattering nearby]

400
00:22:40,817 --> 00:22:42,360
Ew. Orgy?

401
00:22:44,988 --> 00:22:45,822
Orgy?

402
00:22:51,369 --> 00:22:53,038
[woman moaning on phone]

403
00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:28,490
[indistinct chattering]

404
00:23:28,782 --> 00:23:29,783
[man] Spin it.

405
00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:53,140
[Allison] Whoo!

406
00:23:53,348 --> 00:23:55,517
-[Max] Yeah!
-[John] We lit. We lit.

407
00:23:56,726 --> 00:23:57,561
Truth me.

408
00:23:58,436 --> 00:24:02,524
Out of everybody here,
who would you want to sleep with the most?

409
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:06,653
-Sonya.
-[Allison] Ooh, yeah.

410
00:24:06,736 --> 00:24:07,779
[laughing]

411
00:24:07,863 --> 00:24:08,947
Hundred percent.

412
00:24:09,447 --> 00:24:12,200
-Come on.
-Sam, you're a close second, stud.

413
00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:13,910
-[John] Damn.
-Okay. My turn.

414
00:24:14,494 --> 00:24:15,495
[Max grunts]

415
00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:18,206
-[Allison] Yo, people.
-[John] To this bad girl.

416
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,083
Bee, truth or dare.

417
00:24:22,043 --> 00:24:23,170
Dare.

418
00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,254
[all shout]

419
00:24:24,337 --> 00:24:27,674
-I dare you to kiss everyone here.
-[Allison chuckles]

420
00:24:27,757 --> 00:24:29,968
-Yes.
-[Allison] Ooh, yeah.

421
00:24:30,051 --> 00:24:31,928
-[John] She got balls.
-[Sonya] I need to watch.

422
00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:33,388
[Sonya chuckling]

423
00:24:34,514 --> 00:24:35,515
All right.

424
00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:38,310
-That's what I'm talking about.
-[Sonya] I'm excited for that.

425
00:24:38,393 --> 00:24:40,103
-[Max] That's all I'm looking for.
-[Allison] Hold on.

426
00:24:40,187 --> 00:24:41,021
[John] Let's go.

427
00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:43,106
I'm ready.

428
00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:45,108
♪ Everybody loves the sunshine ♪

429
00:24:46,943 --> 00:24:49,905
[in deep voice] I know it was you, Fredo.
I know it was you.

430
00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:51,990
[all laughing]

431
00:24:52,073 --> 00:24:54,034
-Thank you.
-Is that Lord of the Rings?

432
00:24:54,117 --> 00:24:55,911
That was The Godfather Part II.

433
00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:57,245
I love her.

434
00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:58,246
[all laughing]

435
00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:01,041
-[Bee] All right, this is easy. Come on.
-[Max] That was pretty good.

436
00:25:01,124 --> 00:25:03,126
[Bow Wow Wow's "I Want Candy" playing]

437
00:25:06,087 --> 00:25:07,130
[Max] Oh, okay.

438
00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:09,674
[John] Y'all rehearsed this.

439
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,514
♪ Go to see him when the sun goes down ♪

440
00:25:18,516 --> 00:25:20,977
♪ Ain't no finer boy in town ♪

441
00:25:23,021 --> 00:25:25,482
♪ You're my guy
What the doctor ordered ♪

442
00:25:27,442 --> 00:25:29,653
♪ So sweet you make my mouth water ♪

443
00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:33,698
♪ I want candy ♪

444
00:25:36,159 --> 00:25:38,245
♪ I want candy ♪

445
00:25:40,247 --> 00:25:41,498
♪ Yeah! ♪

446
00:25:49,130 --> 00:25:51,633
♪ I want candy ♪

447
00:25:53,593 --> 00:25:55,971
♪ I want candy ♪

448
00:25:57,889 --> 00:26:00,016
♪ I want candy ♪

449
00:26:02,143 --> 00:26:04,271
[pants] Wait, just give me--

450
00:26:05,021 --> 00:26:06,815
Give me a second to process that shit.

451
00:26:06,898 --> 00:26:09,609
-[John] You raised by Rick James?
-I'm thinking a redo.

452
00:26:09,693 --> 00:26:11,152
-That's amazing.
-[laughing]

453
00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:14,531
Make sure it's real nice and long for you,
because I'm black. See that?

454
00:26:14,614 --> 00:26:15,865
There you go. Mm.

455
00:26:17,284 --> 00:26:19,244
-[Bee giggles]
-Fuck, yeah.

456
00:26:19,661 --> 00:26:20,495
Come on.

457
00:26:20,578 --> 00:26:21,955
[Allison laughing]

458
00:26:22,038 --> 00:26:24,207
-Whoo!
-[Sonya] Yeah!

459
00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:26,710
[John] Oh, Bee!

460
00:26:26,793 --> 00:26:28,211
-[all laughing]
-[John groans]

461
00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:29,421
Bee, what the hell?

462
00:26:29,504 --> 00:26:32,382
You give her that romantic shit,
and you're gonna lick my face?

463
00:26:33,466 --> 00:26:34,968
Damn, that's all I'm asking.

464
00:26:35,051 --> 00:26:36,761
-[Bee] All right.
-[John] Freaky shit.

465
00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:40,807
Smell good. The spit is nice.
Brushed your teeth this morning.

466
00:26:42,642 --> 00:26:43,643
[Max laughing] Okay.

467
00:26:47,188 --> 00:26:48,231
-[John] Weird.
-[Bee] Hi.

468
00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:50,775
-[John howling]
-[Allison laughing] Yeah!

469
00:26:51,192 --> 00:26:53,486
[Max cat-calling] Sammy's turn.

470
00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:56,281
-[John laughing]
-[Max chanting] Sammy.

471
00:26:56,364 --> 00:26:58,575
-[Allison] She's so hot.
-[John] Okay.

472
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,619
[Max] Come on, Sam. You got this.

473
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:03,246
Make out with her.

474
00:27:03,621 --> 00:27:04,456
[Sam] I'm sorry.

475
00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:09,502
This is kind of weird.
I don't even really know you guys.

476
00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:12,047
[Max] Come on, Sam.
Freak you out, there, stud?

477
00:27:12,589 --> 00:27:14,924
-Sam, don't be a puss.
-[Sam] I don't even know you guys.

478
00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:16,301
[Sam] I'm not. I'm-- I just--

479
00:27:16,926 --> 00:27:19,054
-You're staring at me.
-[Max] Oh, we're not looking.

480
00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:20,347
[Allison] Hey, it's not weird.

481
00:27:20,847 --> 00:27:21,931
-[Bee] Hey.
-[John] Yeah.

482
00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:23,266
Just close your eyes.

483
00:27:23,683 --> 00:27:24,726
Okay?

484
00:27:24,809 --> 00:27:26,311
Pretend they're not even here.

485
00:27:27,228 --> 00:27:28,063
You can do this.

486
00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:29,773
You got this.

487
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:31,691
[hushes]

488
00:27:35,528 --> 00:27:39,032
Just because I close my eyes
doesn't mean that they're not here.

489
00:27:41,409 --> 00:27:42,285
Do you trust me?

490
00:27:43,953 --> 00:27:44,788
Yes.

491
00:27:44,871 --> 00:27:46,039
Just relax.

492
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,250
It's not weird, okay?
We're just having fun.

493
00:27:50,543 --> 00:27:52,045
[John howls]

494
00:27:52,629 --> 00:27:53,672
There he goes.

495
00:27:54,672 --> 00:27:55,673
[John chuckles]

496
00:28:10,438 --> 00:28:12,190
[screaming]

497
00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:27,497
Shh.

498
00:28:29,165 --> 00:28:32,293
You're helping fulfill a great purpose.
Know this.

499
00:28:32,836 --> 00:28:35,880
I don't wanna fulfill a great porpoise.

500
00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:38,258
[grunts] Did he just say "porpoise"?

501
00:28:38,341 --> 00:28:39,592
Yo, I think he did.

502
00:28:39,676 --> 00:28:41,761
He didn't even get a chance
to understand.

503
00:28:42,262 --> 00:28:43,471
[panting]

504
00:28:44,639 --> 00:28:45,557
Ready?

505
00:28:46,224 --> 00:28:47,475
-[Sonya] Ready.
-Yep.

506
00:28:48,935 --> 00:28:50,687
-[John grunts] Oh, okay.
-[exhales]

507
00:28:52,063 --> 00:28:53,356
[John] That shit leaking.

508
00:28:58,236 --> 00:29:01,406
Wait, hold on. My shit ain't working.
I think it ran out of blood.

509
00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:04,159
-Oh, shit!
-Oh, shit.

510
00:29:04,242 --> 00:29:06,953
[John yells] Oh, shit!

511
00:29:07,036 --> 00:29:09,914
[Max]
All that blood was just in his boner.

512
00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:12,917
Max, don't laugh, okay?
John, relax. This blood is serving you.

513
00:29:13,001 --> 00:29:15,587
I did not sign up for this shit
to serve me in my mouth.

514
00:29:15,670 --> 00:29:18,214
This shit's still warm.
I think he got a fever.

515
00:29:18,298 --> 00:29:21,718
You know what you signed up for.
You want to go platinum, John?

516
00:29:21,801 --> 00:29:24,429
Things can get messy
when you make a deal with the devil.

517
00:29:24,512 --> 00:29:25,555
Now collect it.

518
00:29:25,638 --> 00:29:26,890
-[John] Like this?
-[Bee] There you go.

519
00:29:26,973 --> 00:29:30,435
[Allison] How long is this gonna take?
I just want my shit to come true.

520
00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:33,646
[Bee]
Allison, you'll all get what you want.

521
00:29:38,985 --> 00:29:40,403
Okay, let's go.

522
00:29:42,697 --> 00:29:45,074
[John] I don't think this is funny.
Look at my outfit.

523
00:29:45,158 --> 00:29:47,911
I just got this shit, you feel me?
Thirty percent off.

524
00:29:47,994 --> 00:29:50,663
Macy's. Top rack. I don't play games.

525
00:29:50,747 --> 00:29:52,415
You look like Carrie,

526
00:29:52,499 --> 00:29:55,001
-but black.
-Carrie would've been better black.

527
00:29:55,084 --> 00:29:57,629
She would have been covered in Hennessy,
all right?

528
00:29:57,712 --> 00:30:00,340
What are you wearing?
Looking like Big Bird's side bitch.

529
00:30:00,423 --> 00:30:03,551
I just came from a game.
That's why I'm wearing this, obviously.

530
00:30:03,635 --> 00:30:05,011
I was not gonna miss this.

531
00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:10,308
Look at this shit.
That would go viral so hard.

532
00:30:10,391 --> 00:30:12,185
I mean, nobody's done human sacrifice.

533
00:30:12,268 --> 00:30:14,229
People have always done human sacrifice.

534
00:30:14,312 --> 00:30:18,233
Yeah, but, like...
not in America with hot people.

535
00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:20,610
Sonya, get the cases.

536
00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:23,613
Listen,
when you're done being totally useless,

537
00:30:23,696 --> 00:30:27,617
get a rag and wipe Sacrifice Samuel
out my damn eye. OMG.

538
00:30:27,700 --> 00:30:28,785
Hey.

539
00:30:28,868 --> 00:30:29,869
Nice one, John.

540
00:30:29,953 --> 00:30:32,247
[gasps] Oh, my God.

541
00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:35,124
I've got Sacrifice Samuel all over me.

542
00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:37,293
What's in the box?

543
00:30:42,465 --> 00:30:45,969
Yo, so, Bee, why do you need the book
if you already know what to do?

544
00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:48,304
It's like Jesus asking directions
to heaven.

545
00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:49,931
Just fucking go up, you know?

546
00:30:50,473 --> 00:30:54,102
Well, the Jews have their scrolls,

547
00:30:54,185 --> 00:30:55,979
Christians have their Bibles,

548
00:30:56,062 --> 00:30:57,856
and the devil has his verses.

549
00:30:58,398 --> 00:31:00,817
Don't touch it.
It's very old and very delicate.

550
00:31:01,359 --> 00:31:02,277
It's the only one.

551
00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:05,613
You recite the verse
while the blood hits the page.

552
00:31:05,697 --> 00:31:07,323
Without it, none of this happens.

553
00:31:09,325 --> 00:31:13,246
Let's get started before we head upstairs
and get the blood of the innocent.

554
00:31:13,329 --> 00:31:14,831
[gasps]

555
00:31:26,301 --> 00:31:27,427
[woman]
911, what's your emergency?

556
00:31:27,510 --> 00:31:30,471
My name is Cole Johnson.
A guy was murdered in my living room.

557
00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:33,433
The address is, uh... 2455 Bigby Drive.

558
00:31:33,516 --> 00:31:36,936
-Can you please send someone?
-Are the attackers still in the house?

559
00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:38,605
They're downstairs having a blast.

560
00:31:38,688 --> 00:31:40,648
-How many are there, Cole?
-Too many.

561
00:31:40,732 --> 00:31:44,402
Can you please get my mom?
She's at the Hyatt in the city.

562
00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:45,528
Living large.

563
00:31:45,612 --> 00:31:49,157
Of course, Cole. Now listen to me.
It's important that you stay hidden.

564
00:31:50,325 --> 00:31:53,453
-I gotta protect myself. Thanks.
-Do not do that. No, no, no--

565
00:32:20,104 --> 00:32:23,650
-Okay.
-[chattering]

566
00:32:36,829 --> 00:32:39,540
[Bee] ...we shed about 15 percent
of our dead cells.

567
00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:40,583
[John] Whoo!

568
00:32:42,085 --> 00:32:44,170
Yo, this kid's hobby
must be getting bullied.

569
00:32:45,964 --> 00:32:47,382
He's reading The Secret?

570
00:32:47,465 --> 00:32:50,051
He's ten years old.
What secret he need to know?

571
00:32:50,551 --> 00:32:51,594
Won't he hear us?

572
00:32:52,095 --> 00:32:54,973
With the amount of drugs I gave him?
Hell, no.

573
00:32:55,682 --> 00:32:59,686
-[Sonya] Good boy. Pretty boy.
-Do you have the needle?

574
00:33:01,771 --> 00:33:03,189
Of course, I have the needle.

575
00:33:08,361 --> 00:33:11,197
You know, there is a faster way
to get all that blood.

576
00:33:12,407 --> 00:33:14,033
[Bee] What happens when you kill someone?

577
00:33:14,117 --> 00:33:16,369
[John] They lose, like,
all they Instagram followers.

578
00:33:16,452 --> 00:33:19,497
-[gasps] Oh, my God, that would suck.
-No, they die.

579
00:33:19,580 --> 00:33:21,833
And then I'd have
to find another innocent kid.

580
00:33:21,916 --> 00:33:25,628
And all of this only works
if we get that top-shelf pure shit.

581
00:33:27,088 --> 00:33:29,340
And Cole is basically a faucet
of that for us.

582
00:33:41,519 --> 00:33:43,187
[Bee] After this, we finish the ritual...

583
00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:45,732
and your wish comes true.

584
00:33:49,193 --> 00:33:50,820
-Damn, I missed the vein.
-[Sonya] Mm.

585
00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:55,450
[Bee] Premium real estate. Go for it.

586
00:33:58,661 --> 00:34:00,663
[Sonya incanting]

587
00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:10,715
Wait, you gotta give him a Band-Aid.

588
00:34:10,798 --> 00:34:12,467
Okay. Let's go mix some blood.

589
00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:13,760
John, alley-oop.

590
00:34:14,844 --> 00:34:15,928
[John] LeBron James.

591
00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:19,974
Good boy.

592
00:34:43,706 --> 00:34:45,708
[panting]

593
00:35:49,105 --> 00:35:50,106
Why is he shirtless?

594
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:55,027
-That's your first question?
-How can you ask that? Just look at him.

595
00:35:55,111 --> 00:35:56,195
I still don't get it.

596
00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:00,616
[grunting]

597
00:36:01,617 --> 00:36:02,869
Give him a cookie.

598
00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:07,957
-No, thanks.
-Eat the cookie.

599
00:36:08,541 --> 00:36:11,127
I just don't really like cookies, okay?
Bee knows that.

600
00:36:13,462 --> 00:36:15,590
You'll feel better if you eat.
You fainted.

601
00:36:15,673 --> 00:36:16,591
No, I didn't.

602
00:36:16,674 --> 00:36:17,508
Yes, you did.

603
00:36:18,676 --> 00:36:19,844
After I took your blood,

604
00:36:19,927 --> 00:36:22,305
I waited in the room,
because something felt off.

605
00:36:22,388 --> 00:36:25,224
I crouched behind the door.
A few seconds later, you got up,

606
00:36:25,308 --> 00:36:27,935
tied a sheet to your bed,
threw the sheet out the window.

607
00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:30,354
And then you fainted. So, you know...

608
00:36:30,438 --> 00:36:32,356
Your blood sugar is low. Eat the cookie.

609
00:36:38,446 --> 00:36:39,322
Are you mad at me?

610
00:36:39,906 --> 00:36:41,490
Cookie.

611
00:36:43,075 --> 00:36:45,411
This is gonna be so good.

612
00:36:47,079 --> 00:36:47,914
What the...

613
00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:50,082
Oh, there you go.

614
00:36:50,875 --> 00:36:52,001
There you go.

615
00:36:55,421 --> 00:36:56,422
That's a good boy.

616
00:37:04,722 --> 00:37:07,266
-Why are you awake, Cole?
-Because I couldn't sleep.

617
00:37:07,350 --> 00:37:09,227
-I don't believe you.
-[Cole] Okay, fine. I--

618
00:37:09,310 --> 00:37:10,895
I was gonna go smoke in the woods.

619
00:37:10,978 --> 00:37:12,688
[Bee] You were gonna go smoke
in the woods.

620
00:37:13,856 --> 00:37:17,068
Yeah. You know, like... marijuana.

621
00:37:17,151 --> 00:37:19,737
You weren't gonna share with your boy?
Come on, man.

622
00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:22,490
We could've got high,
listen to my mix tape. My shit's fire.

623
00:37:22,573 --> 00:37:24,951
-I wanna smoke pot.
-Why didn't you drink the shot?

624
00:37:25,034 --> 00:37:27,370
Why is he shirtless?
Why did you take my blood?

625
00:37:27,453 --> 00:37:29,997
-Cole.
-Okay. Fine. Because I don't like alcohol.

626
00:37:30,081 --> 00:37:32,708
I just drank it
because I wanted you to think I was cool.

627
00:37:35,836 --> 00:37:37,755
Why did you give a 12-year-old alcohol?

628
00:37:37,838 --> 00:37:40,508
'Cause I put shit in that alcohol
that makes them conk out

629
00:37:40,591 --> 00:37:41,759
for eight hours or more.

630
00:37:43,386 --> 00:37:44,512
What else did you see?

631
00:37:45,888 --> 00:37:47,390
I just see you.

632
00:37:48,182 --> 00:37:51,143
And these assholes,
who I don't know, in my house.

633
00:37:54,021 --> 00:37:57,358
-Why is his shirt covered in blood?
-No one would let me borrow a shirt.

634
00:37:58,317 --> 00:38:00,361
-That's not even an answer.
-Oh, my God.

635
00:38:00,444 --> 00:38:03,948
Does he not see the mirror behind him?
We can see you cutting the rope.

636
00:38:05,700 --> 00:38:06,784
Well, he does now.

637
00:38:09,161 --> 00:38:11,205
Aw, it's so cute,
you're still cutting the rope.

638
00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:13,833
Look at you.
You're really trying there, aren't you?

639
00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:17,712
-Why are you cutting ropes?
-I don't like being tied up.

640
00:38:17,795 --> 00:38:19,672
-Why do you have a knife?
-It was a gift.

641
00:38:19,755 --> 00:38:20,631
Oh, my God.

642
00:38:21,257 --> 00:38:22,633
He's still cutting the ropes.

643
00:38:23,175 --> 00:38:25,136
Determined little fucker, aren't you?

644
00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:29,140
Look, I won't tell anyone.

645
00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:31,684
Okay? You know me.
I'm good with secrets.

646
00:38:32,059 --> 00:38:34,437
I won't tell my parents
that you were having an orgy

647
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:35,855
and needed my blood to do it.

648
00:38:35,938 --> 00:38:37,398
[John and Allison laughing]

649
00:38:42,445 --> 00:38:44,488
Do you even know what an orgy is?

650
00:38:45,031 --> 00:38:47,074
I'm guessing it's something sad people do

651
00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:49,535
'cause they want other sad people
to like them,

652
00:38:50,036 --> 00:38:53,039
and they can forget for one minute
how sad they are in general.

653
00:38:54,123 --> 00:38:56,000
That's actually a pretty good answer.

654
00:38:56,625 --> 00:38:58,794
It was for a science project, okay?

655
00:38:59,545 --> 00:39:00,379
The orgy?

656
00:39:00,921 --> 00:39:02,381
No. The blood.

657
00:39:02,465 --> 00:39:04,717
Orgy is when a bunch of people
have sex together.

658
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:06,052
We wouldn't need your blood for that.

659
00:39:09,055 --> 00:39:10,723
You could've just asked.

660
00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:13,768
I would've let you have some blood
for science.

661
00:39:13,893 --> 00:39:15,644
I knew you were afraid of needles.

662
00:39:15,728 --> 00:39:17,688
This was clearly a misunderstanding.

663
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:18,939
Sonya, untie him.

664
00:39:19,940 --> 00:39:21,984
I'm sorry we scared you, Cole. We good?

665
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:23,277
[police sirens wailing]

666
00:39:24,445 --> 00:39:25,905
-[John] Oh, shit.
-[screaming]

667
00:39:26,781 --> 00:39:28,741
-[Max] Shut up!
-Holy fuck!

668
00:39:28,824 --> 00:39:30,868
-Not good.
-Fucking police.

669
00:39:31,452 --> 00:39:33,204
Why are the cops outside, Cole?

670
00:39:33,537 --> 00:39:35,206
-I don't know.
-Did you call them?

671
00:39:35,289 --> 00:39:38,000
-No. You said you were in the room.
-Makes me think you saw something

672
00:39:38,084 --> 00:39:40,461
that scared you enough
to call the cops. Right, Cole?

673
00:39:42,171 --> 00:39:43,839
-[knock on door]
-Oh, fuck!

674
00:39:43,923 --> 00:39:45,007
Answer me, Cole.

675
00:39:45,549 --> 00:39:47,968
Help! Help!
I'm tied up inside! They're about--

676
00:39:48,844 --> 00:39:50,096
[grunts] Ow.

677
00:39:51,097 --> 00:39:52,723
-Oh, shit!
-[officer] Everybody, freeze!

678
00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:55,351
[officer 2] Hands up, now!
Put your hands up! Now!

679
00:39:55,434 --> 00:39:56,477
-Now!
-[Max] Here we go.

680
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:57,937
-[officer] Hands up!
-[John] Oh!

681
00:39:58,062 --> 00:39:59,814
[screaming]

682
00:39:59,897 --> 00:40:01,690
-[chuckles]
-[officer] Shit!

683
00:40:01,774 --> 00:40:05,319
Hands up. Don't shoot, man.
Black lives matter, too. You feel me?

684
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:06,862
[Allison] Bee!

685
00:40:06,987 --> 00:40:07,947
-Oh!
-[Max] Oh, shit!

686
00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:09,824
Titty gone!

687
00:40:10,366 --> 00:40:11,492
Titty gone!

688
00:40:11,575 --> 00:40:14,662
Don't you move. Keep your hands up.
Nobody move!

689
00:40:15,830 --> 00:40:17,498
-[screams]
-Don't you move.

690
00:40:17,581 --> 00:40:18,916
[John] Chill with the gun stuff.

691
00:40:18,999 --> 00:40:21,085
Chill. You Mexican, right?
Look, I speak Spa--

692
00:40:21,168 --> 00:40:23,212
Lo siento, my nigga, lo siento.

693
00:40:24,630 --> 00:40:26,090
[shouting]

694
00:40:26,465 --> 00:40:28,426
-Are you serious?
-[laughing]

695
00:40:30,302 --> 00:40:31,679
[screaming]

696
00:40:31,762 --> 00:40:33,139
[John] Max, what you doing, man?

697
00:40:33,222 --> 00:40:35,558
-[John] Max, what you doing, man?
-No, no, no!

698
00:40:36,308 --> 00:40:37,560
-[officer 2 shouting]
-Oh.

699
00:40:38,727 --> 00:40:40,396
[grunting]

700
00:40:40,479 --> 00:40:41,313
No!

701
00:40:43,023 --> 00:40:44,275
Harder.

702
00:40:45,985 --> 00:40:47,736
[screaming]

703
00:40:48,362 --> 00:40:49,405
Whoo!

704
00:40:49,488 --> 00:40:52,283
Look, man.
Three out of four people got an STD.

705
00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:54,034
I got two people's blood on me.

706
00:40:54,535 --> 00:40:57,288
You do the math.
I got AIDS. I know I got AIDS.

707
00:40:57,371 --> 00:40:58,664
You killed him!

708
00:40:59,165 --> 00:41:01,417
-Kind of your fault, bud.
-Are you insane?

709
00:41:01,500 --> 00:41:02,835
No, Cole. I'm just trying--

710
00:41:02,918 --> 00:41:06,589
[man on radio] What's the status
of that 187 call on Bigby Drive?

711
00:41:09,383 --> 00:41:10,426
[John] Look, man.

712
00:41:10,509 --> 00:41:12,761
I can't go to jail.
Y'all killed the cops, man.

713
00:41:12,845 --> 00:41:14,555
I ain't involved with this shit.

714
00:41:14,722 --> 00:41:16,098
It's fine. Max, pick it up.

715
00:41:16,557 --> 00:41:17,475
[Max chuckles]

716
00:41:17,725 --> 00:41:19,059
[John] It's the statistics.

717
00:41:19,143 --> 00:41:21,645
They say you either end up in jail
or dead.

718
00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:24,064
It's gonna be both for me, Bee.

719
00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:26,859
-What's the code for "all clear"?
-[man] What's your status?

720
00:41:27,401 --> 00:41:28,986
Just say "all clear."

721
00:41:29,069 --> 00:41:30,529
[Sonya] Why would he know cop codes?

722
00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:31,947
[Cole shouts]

723
00:41:32,198 --> 00:41:34,116
Stop screaming and act like an adult.

724
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,076
What's the code? I know you know it.

725
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,204
Little boy here a nerd.
Tell them the codes.

726
00:41:38,787 --> 00:41:39,705
What's the code?

727
00:41:39,955 --> 00:41:42,041
-Ten-fifty-three.
-[John] Punch that shit in.

728
00:41:42,541 --> 00:41:45,044
-[man] Bynak, you there?
-Wait.

729
00:41:47,546 --> 00:41:50,007
[Bee] You don't get it.
You look away when you lie.

730
00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:54,136
You look me in the eyes
and tell me the truth.

731
00:41:54,220 --> 00:41:55,971
What is the code for "all clear"?

732
00:42:02,645 --> 00:42:05,022
It's 10-4. Obviously.

733
00:42:05,105 --> 00:42:07,274
What's "we're taking a break to get food"?

734
00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:09,401
-[Cole] Say we're taking a break to--
-[Bee] Cole.

735
00:42:09,568 --> 00:42:11,445
[man] Officer Bynak, you need backup?

736
00:42:11,862 --> 00:42:13,072
Code seven.

737
00:42:17,618 --> 00:42:19,870
Ten-four, all clear. We're code seven.

738
00:42:25,501 --> 00:42:26,627
[man] Ten-four.
Enjoy your double-double.

739
00:42:30,130 --> 00:42:31,382
Should've been a cop.

740
00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:36,136
[screaming]

741
00:42:37,012 --> 00:42:37,930
Shit.

742
00:42:38,013 --> 00:42:39,640
[groaning] Ow, ow!

743
00:42:41,183 --> 00:42:42,685
[Allison] Oh, my God. Guys.

744
00:42:43,143 --> 00:42:45,521
Oh, my God!

745
00:42:45,604 --> 00:42:47,940
Fucking help me. What are you doing?

746
00:42:48,232 --> 00:42:50,484
Oh, my God. He shot me in the boob.

747
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:53,362
What kind of dick shoots a girl
in the boob?

748
00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:58,200
-I did not sign up for this shit.
-Stop complaining. Stop all your whining.

749
00:42:58,284 --> 00:43:01,203
They're totally gonna stop growing.
They weren't even done.

750
00:43:01,287 --> 00:43:03,122
Sometimes you gotta settle, all right?

751
00:43:03,205 --> 00:43:05,499
I got a cousin Chantelle, titties flat.

752
00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:06,917
Personality real good.

753
00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:08,460
Ow. Oh, my God.

754
00:43:08,544 --> 00:43:10,462
-Ow! You fucking bitch.
-[Sonya laughs]

755
00:43:10,546 --> 00:43:11,714
What's wrong with you?

756
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:16,135
-Get away from me with your fucking beret.
-She's gonna bleed out.

757
00:43:17,052 --> 00:43:18,012
What? No.

758
00:43:18,095 --> 00:43:20,180
What do you mean, I'm gonna bleed?

759
00:43:20,264 --> 00:43:22,433
Can we just stick a tampon in it
or something?

760
00:43:22,933 --> 00:43:25,978
Oh, my God.
We need to call an ambulance, guys.

761
00:43:26,061 --> 00:43:28,814
I need an ambulance.
I don't wanna lose my boob.

762
00:43:28,897 --> 00:43:29,940
I can't do that.

763
00:43:30,024 --> 00:43:30,858
[Allison] What?

764
00:43:31,692 --> 00:43:32,651
Why not?

765
00:43:32,735 --> 00:43:35,070
Because your boob was shot
by a now-dead cop.

766
00:43:35,154 --> 00:43:36,322
Have fun explaining that.

767
00:43:36,405 --> 00:43:38,782
No dude's gonna motorboat these, Bee.

768
00:43:38,866 --> 00:43:40,492
-[crying]
-[mimicking motorboat]

769
00:43:40,576 --> 00:43:43,037
How you like it?
You want them quick or you want them long?

770
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:46,040
[continues mimicking motorboat]
You want a little spit on them?

771
00:43:48,208 --> 00:43:49,043
[Bee] Cole!

772
00:43:49,335 --> 00:43:51,170
-[Allison] Oh, my God.
-[John] Hey, hey, hey.

773
00:43:51,253 --> 00:43:53,589
Who's gonna want to suck on my nipples?

774
00:43:53,881 --> 00:43:54,715
No one.

775
00:43:54,798 --> 00:43:56,884
[John] Cole. Come here, Cole.
Stop running.

776
00:43:57,384 --> 00:43:59,845
Come here, little baby.
Yeah. Come here, buddy.

777
00:43:59,928 --> 00:44:01,930
Just wanna talk. Just wanna talk.

778
00:44:02,514 --> 00:44:03,724
Son of a bitch.

779
00:44:03,807 --> 00:44:05,726
Hey, this ain't Home Alone.
Hey, hey, hey.

780
00:44:06,101 --> 00:44:06,935
Oh, shit.

781
00:44:13,233 --> 00:44:14,068
[exhales]

782
00:44:18,322 --> 00:44:19,698
Oh, shit.

783
00:44:20,991 --> 00:44:23,494
Right in the jugular. Yeah! [chuckles]

784
00:44:24,995 --> 00:44:25,954
[gasps]

785
00:44:26,038 --> 00:44:27,915
-Get him.
-I got him.

786
00:44:27,998 --> 00:44:30,209
I'm gonna kill you with my bare hands.

787
00:44:30,292 --> 00:44:31,126
Whoo!

788
00:44:31,210 --> 00:44:33,671
-Now I gotta clean this up.
-[Max] Run, Cole!

789
00:44:34,505 --> 00:44:35,798
I'm coming for you.

790
00:44:37,341 --> 00:44:38,884
Open the door, Cole.

791
00:44:41,303 --> 00:44:43,305
No locked doors, Cole!

792
00:44:43,389 --> 00:44:46,266
Open the door. We just wanna talk, Cole.

793
00:44:49,603 --> 00:44:50,896
Come on, Cole!

794
00:44:57,611 --> 00:44:59,071
[panting]

795
00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:07,496
Hey, Coley. How's it hanging?

796
00:45:08,122 --> 00:45:09,248
[fabric stretching]

797
00:45:09,873 --> 00:45:11,917
Please, don't kill me. Please.

798
00:45:15,879 --> 00:45:17,548
No. You're gonna kill me. No.

799
00:45:19,007 --> 00:45:21,385
Max. It's okay, Max. Please.

800
00:45:22,970 --> 00:45:24,138
Got you.

801
00:45:25,681 --> 00:45:26,807
Ow!

802
00:45:27,349 --> 00:45:29,601
Whoa. Deep breaths, buddy.

803
00:45:30,394 --> 00:45:31,687
[coughs, groans]

804
00:45:38,277 --> 00:45:39,695
[Max] I'm right on your ass, Coley!

805
00:45:39,778 --> 00:45:40,821
Keep moving!

806
00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:44,450
Come on, Cole!

807
00:45:47,119 --> 00:45:48,579
Where are you, you little shit?

808
00:45:49,371 --> 00:45:50,539
Cole.

809
00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:52,249
Coley.

810
00:45:52,332 --> 00:45:53,167
[panting]

811
00:46:13,145 --> 00:46:14,480
[shouts]

812
00:46:22,029 --> 00:46:23,155
There's a dead guy...

813
00:46:25,115 --> 00:46:25,949
I'm sorry.

814
00:46:28,035 --> 00:46:28,869
I'm sorry.

815
00:46:31,914 --> 00:46:33,457
[shouting]

816
00:46:35,083 --> 00:46:36,376
Okay. Okay. Okay.

817
00:46:37,878 --> 00:46:39,296
Bug spray. Blanket.

818
00:46:42,466 --> 00:46:43,300
Lighter.

819
00:46:52,267 --> 00:46:54,645
Whoa. The Fat Dragon.

820
00:46:58,732 --> 00:46:59,691
[Max] Coley!

821
00:47:02,069 --> 00:47:03,403
Cole!

822
00:47:06,740 --> 00:47:08,909
Come out and play!

823
00:47:25,842 --> 00:47:28,136
[Cole panting]

824
00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:42,150
[footsteps above]

825
00:48:32,618 --> 00:48:34,244
[Sonya whispers] Is this where you are?

826
00:48:36,455 --> 00:48:37,831
[laughing]

827
00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:42,044
[Sonya hums]

828
00:49:03,857 --> 00:49:04,900
[creaking]

829
00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:09,112
[shouts]

830
00:49:22,709 --> 00:49:24,670
Are you right... here?

831
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:37,849
Good boy.

832
00:49:40,060 --> 00:49:40,977
[gasps]

833
00:49:41,061 --> 00:49:42,729
Beautiful boy.

834
00:49:46,108 --> 00:49:47,567
So soft, so pretty.

835
00:49:47,651 --> 00:49:49,319
[Max] Coley!

836
00:49:50,445 --> 00:49:53,031
-Where's Cole?
-[Sonya] Ugh.

837
00:49:54,408 --> 00:49:58,286
[Max] Sonya, bring your cookies
and help me find this little fuck.

838
00:49:58,495 --> 00:50:00,122
[Sonya] I'm coming.

839
00:50:00,664 --> 00:50:01,665
[whimpers]

840
00:50:13,593 --> 00:50:14,928
Hi, Cole.

841
00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:17,180
Oh, God.

842
00:50:17,264 --> 00:50:20,767
How long do you think
it'll take your parents

843
00:50:21,184 --> 00:50:23,895
to find your body down here? [chuckles]

844
00:50:24,521 --> 00:50:25,355
Tomorrow?

845
00:50:26,857 --> 00:50:28,150
Two days from now?

846
00:50:28,775 --> 00:50:29,901
Even later?

847
00:50:29,985 --> 00:50:34,281
Probably when your body starts
to reek like cheese.

848
00:50:34,364 --> 00:50:38,076
[laughs]
Or we could just burn your body, Cole.

849
00:50:38,452 --> 00:50:40,287
It would be so beautiful.

850
00:50:41,204 --> 00:50:42,247
[Sonya screams]

851
00:50:42,956 --> 00:50:44,458
[laughs] Oh, you missed.

852
00:50:45,542 --> 00:50:46,918
[Sonya screams]

853
00:50:47,002 --> 00:50:48,044
My nails!

854
00:50:48,754 --> 00:50:53,425
Cole! Cole! [grunts]

855
00:50:54,259 --> 00:50:56,553
-[thuds]
-[grunts]

856
00:50:57,345 --> 00:51:01,057
I'm gonna make sure
you hurt before you die, Cole.

857
00:51:04,770 --> 00:51:07,314
Cut your fingers off. Every single one.

858
00:51:07,397 --> 00:51:08,774
Come here, Cole!

859
00:51:08,857 --> 00:51:11,860
I'm making
a human self-centipede. Yeah!

860
00:51:16,073 --> 00:51:18,241
Human self-centipede, child!

861
00:51:18,325 --> 00:51:20,577
Gonna taste so good, Cole!

862
00:51:20,660 --> 00:51:23,163
Your mouth is gonna get sewn
to your ass, Cole!

863
00:51:23,246 --> 00:51:25,040
Your mouthy ass!

864
00:51:25,832 --> 00:51:28,293
[screaming]

865
00:51:32,214 --> 00:51:33,590
[Sonya continues screaming]

866
00:51:40,555 --> 00:51:42,140
I'm still alive motherfuck--

867
00:51:42,224 --> 00:51:43,391
[loud bang]

868
00:51:43,475 --> 00:51:45,143
[gasping]

869
00:51:48,104 --> 00:51:49,105
[coughing]

870
00:51:56,071 --> 00:51:57,948
[applauding]

871
00:52:03,578 --> 00:52:05,121
Did you just blow up Sonya?

872
00:52:06,498 --> 00:52:07,332
No.

873
00:52:08,583 --> 00:52:11,086
I mean, I'm not even mad.
I'm a little surprised.

874
00:52:11,461 --> 00:52:12,587
What did that?

875
00:52:13,588 --> 00:52:14,548
A firework.

876
00:52:14,631 --> 00:52:15,465
A firework?

877
00:52:15,549 --> 00:52:16,800
Holy shit.

878
00:52:17,801 --> 00:52:18,969
Damn, good for you, kid.

879
00:52:19,678 --> 00:52:20,971
That is awesome.

880
00:52:21,304 --> 00:52:23,306
So, you want a head start?

881
00:52:24,474 --> 00:52:27,269
-Come on, you're the quarterback.
-Life's not fair, dude.

882
00:52:27,352 --> 00:52:28,436
You guys suck.

883
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:29,646
You just blew up Sonya.

884
00:52:33,066 --> 00:52:34,317
You can't outrun me, Cole.

885
00:52:37,571 --> 00:52:40,365
Wait until they've almost got you,
drop like a bag of rocks.

886
00:52:41,575 --> 00:52:42,784
[Max grunts]

887
00:52:43,410 --> 00:52:44,661
[Bee] Kick him in the dick.

888
00:52:44,744 --> 00:52:45,579
Dick.

889
00:52:45,662 --> 00:52:46,705
[Max groans]

890
00:52:55,630 --> 00:52:56,464
Whoo!

891
00:52:59,134 --> 00:53:00,427
You missed my dick.

892
00:53:01,261 --> 00:53:02,971
-No, I didn't.
-Pretty sure you did.

893
00:53:03,054 --> 00:53:04,180
And I got a big dick.

894
00:53:04,973 --> 00:53:05,807
No, you don't.

895
00:53:05,891 --> 00:53:07,017
That's just hurtful.

896
00:53:07,309 --> 00:53:08,768
[shouting]

897
00:53:09,853 --> 00:53:10,896
Please, don't-- Don't--

898
00:53:13,648 --> 00:53:14,983
[gasping]

899
00:53:15,066 --> 00:53:16,192
[Max] No whining.

900
00:53:16,276 --> 00:53:17,152
Save some dignity.

901
00:53:20,447 --> 00:53:21,406
[egg breaking]

902
00:53:23,658 --> 00:53:26,244
-What the hell is that?
-[gasping]

903
00:53:26,328 --> 00:53:27,787
-Huh?
-It's Jeremy.

904
00:53:28,997 --> 00:53:30,081
-What?
-Eggs.

905
00:53:31,124 --> 00:53:32,125
Eggs.

906
00:53:32,667 --> 00:53:33,501
Eggs?

907
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:36,129
You gotta be shitting me.

908
00:53:36,713 --> 00:53:38,590
Somebody's egging your house?

909
00:53:44,012 --> 00:53:46,014
[crowd cheering]

910
00:53:46,598 --> 00:53:47,474
[Max] Who is this kid?

911
00:53:48,433 --> 00:53:49,476
Just an asshole.

912
00:53:49,559 --> 00:53:51,269
-He egg your house a lot?
-Sometimes.

913
00:53:51,811 --> 00:53:54,356
-[Max] So, what are you gonna do about it?
-What?

914
00:53:54,439 --> 00:53:57,567
I said, are you gonna let that little punk
come on to your property,

915
00:53:57,651 --> 00:54:00,070
your family's property
and disrespect you like that?

916
00:54:04,991 --> 00:54:09,037
No. Hell, no. This is America.
You need to wreck his ass.

917
00:54:11,247 --> 00:54:12,832
Are you kidding me?

918
00:54:12,916 --> 00:54:15,001
Get out there and crush that bitch.

919
00:54:15,752 --> 00:54:16,586
Go.

920
00:54:20,548 --> 00:54:22,634
[chuckles] Well, well, well.

921
00:54:23,259 --> 00:54:24,511
It's Cole sore.

922
00:54:25,178 --> 00:54:26,554
I like your pajamas.

923
00:54:27,514 --> 00:54:29,182
-Thanks. My mom made them.
-[scoffs]

924
00:54:30,517 --> 00:54:31,685
You wanna do something?

925
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:35,063
You know what I'm gonna do?

926
00:54:35,146 --> 00:54:36,189
What's that?

927
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,235
I'm gonna take this right foot,

928
00:54:41,069 --> 00:54:44,114
and I'm gonna whop you
on that side of your face.

929
00:54:46,908 --> 00:54:49,494
And there's not a damn thing
you can do about it.

930
00:54:49,577 --> 00:54:51,496
[chuckles] Really?

931
00:54:53,081 --> 00:54:54,207
Really.

932
00:54:56,376 --> 00:54:58,086
I'm gonna wreck your ass.

933
00:54:58,712 --> 00:54:59,546
[grunts]

934
00:55:02,298 --> 00:55:03,341
[grunts]

935
00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:06,094
What the hell was that?
You must be crazy.

936
00:55:06,177 --> 00:55:08,638
Jeremy, you have to listen to me, okay?

937
00:55:08,888 --> 00:55:11,224
There's a guy over there
who's trying to kill me.

938
00:55:11,307 --> 00:55:13,184
-I swear to God.
-I swear to God.

939
00:55:13,268 --> 00:55:14,811
-I'm serious.
-I'm serious.

940
00:55:14,894 --> 00:55:16,646
There are dead bodies in my house.

941
00:55:17,522 --> 00:55:20,525
-Wait, seriously?
-The cops came. They killed the cops.

942
00:55:21,359 --> 00:55:24,404
-Where is the cop car?
-They're crazy. They're covering it up.

943
00:55:24,904 --> 00:55:27,907
Okay? If you get me out of this,
I'll wear a blue headband.

944
00:55:27,991 --> 00:55:30,994
I'll give you foot massages.
I'll do your homework until college.

945
00:55:31,077 --> 00:55:32,412
Oh, okay, okay.

946
00:55:33,163 --> 00:55:33,997
I'll help you.

947
00:55:35,457 --> 00:55:36,332
-Really?
-Yeah.

948
00:55:36,416 --> 00:55:38,793
I mean, if you die,
who am I gonna pick on?

949
00:55:40,170 --> 00:55:41,004
Exactly.

950
00:55:41,463 --> 00:55:43,298
Okay, so, here's the plan.

951
00:55:43,798 --> 00:55:45,967
On three,
we're gonna make a run for my bike.

952
00:55:46,051 --> 00:55:48,762
-You're gonna ride in the back. All right?
-Thank you.

953
00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:51,431
One, two--

954
00:55:52,974 --> 00:55:54,225
[Jeremy laughing]

955
00:55:55,977 --> 00:55:58,146
Have fun getting murdered, colon cancer.

956
00:55:59,272 --> 00:56:00,231
Ooh-whah, ooh-whah.

957
00:56:01,149 --> 00:56:02,317
Ooh-whah, ooh-whah.

958
00:56:07,947 --> 00:56:09,324
You talk too much.

959
00:56:10,033 --> 00:56:11,618
Crack him in the face next time.

960
00:56:13,203 --> 00:56:15,205
Not bad.
At least you stood up for yourself.

961
00:56:16,831 --> 00:56:18,208
You gonna let me go now?

962
00:56:18,416 --> 00:56:19,626
[Max laughs]

963
00:56:19,709 --> 00:56:20,960
[sighs]

964
00:56:21,836 --> 00:56:22,670
No.

965
00:56:25,381 --> 00:56:27,550
But if you kill me,
you won't get what you want.

966
00:56:28,051 --> 00:56:29,511
No, I'm not like the others.

967
00:56:29,594 --> 00:56:31,262
I came here to kill people.

968
00:56:34,224 --> 00:56:36,643
Yes! That's what I'm talking about, Cole!

969
00:56:36,726 --> 00:56:38,436
Come on, buddy! Whoo!

970
00:56:40,939 --> 00:56:42,107
Come on, Coley.

971
00:56:42,690 --> 00:56:45,652
Come on, buddy. I'm right behind you.
Move your ass, Cole.

972
00:56:46,236 --> 00:56:47,487
Whoo!

973
00:56:48,279 --> 00:56:49,447
Coming for you.

974
00:56:49,697 --> 00:56:51,324
-[Cole screams]
-Whoo!

975
00:56:52,075 --> 00:56:53,618
Come on, buddy. Get moving.

976
00:56:53,701 --> 00:56:55,537
[Max laughs]

977
00:56:57,038 --> 00:56:58,123
Come on, buddy.

978
00:56:58,748 --> 00:56:59,582
Let's go!

979
00:57:00,583 --> 00:57:02,502
Come on! Get up there! Come on!

980
00:57:03,378 --> 00:57:04,879
[singsong] Coley.

981
00:57:05,672 --> 00:57:08,091
Come down and play.

982
00:57:09,342 --> 00:57:10,677
[grunting]

983
00:57:12,428 --> 00:57:13,388
Coley.

984
00:57:16,182 --> 00:57:17,016
Come on, Cole.

985
00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:22,021
Chi-chi-chi, chi-chi-chi, ah

986
00:57:23,815 --> 00:57:26,317
Chi-chi-chi, chi-chi-chi, ah

987
00:57:27,318 --> 00:57:28,820
Stuck in the tree.

988
00:57:29,237 --> 00:57:30,947
No way down!

989
00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:35,410
Coley.

990
00:57:38,413 --> 00:57:40,748
Coley.

991
00:57:42,917 --> 00:57:44,210
Coley.

992
00:57:45,962 --> 00:57:47,547
[panting]

993
00:57:49,591 --> 00:57:50,508
[gasping] Where is he?

994
00:58:09,486 --> 00:58:10,653
[screams]

995
00:58:11,488 --> 00:58:13,031
[in normal voice] You're a badass kid.

996
00:58:13,698 --> 00:58:14,657
Relax, Max.

997
00:58:17,994 --> 00:58:19,496
You don't have to do this.

998
00:58:19,579 --> 00:58:22,165
Well, I kind of have to do this.

999
00:58:23,833 --> 00:58:26,878
Don't worry. I'm not gonna let you die
with egg on your face.

1000
00:58:27,712 --> 00:58:29,005
You poor bastard.

1001
00:58:29,088 --> 00:58:30,924
You deserve better than this.

1002
00:58:37,931 --> 00:58:40,183
Tonight you get an honorable death.

1003
00:58:40,683 --> 00:58:42,560
Tonight you die a man.

1004
00:58:43,478 --> 00:58:44,604
I don't wanna die a man.

1005
00:58:44,687 --> 00:58:45,647
[both grunting]

1006
00:58:50,735 --> 00:58:52,946
[Max grunts]

1007
00:58:55,865 --> 00:58:56,950
[Cole shouts]

1008
00:59:03,957 --> 00:59:05,333
[gunshot]

1009
00:59:06,251 --> 00:59:07,835
Why are there guns?

1010
00:59:09,629 --> 00:59:10,463
[gun cocks]

1011
00:59:16,261 --> 00:59:17,387
[gunshot]

1012
00:59:18,012 --> 00:59:19,305
Come here. Come here.

1013
00:59:20,557 --> 00:59:23,142
-Was that a gun?
-I got the two guys and the Asian girl.

1014
00:59:23,226 --> 00:59:25,979
-The cheerleader got shot. It's just Bee.
-What is going on?

1015
00:59:26,062 --> 00:59:29,148
Bee murdered the geek. Stole my blood.
Tied me up. Killed the cops.

1016
00:59:29,232 --> 00:59:31,568
-You're really freaking me out.
-I'm... sorry.

1017
00:59:32,944 --> 00:59:33,778
Bee is bad?

1018
00:59:35,780 --> 00:59:37,073
Yeah. Bee is bad.

1019
00:59:37,657 --> 00:59:39,701
-Where's your dad?
-Out with some Protestant.

1020
00:59:39,784 --> 00:59:42,996
-But his car's here.
-She picked him up. He's really desperate.

1021
00:59:43,496 --> 00:59:45,748
Am I the only one
that still has a babysitter?

1022
00:59:46,499 --> 00:59:47,375
Yeah.

1023
00:59:48,334 --> 00:59:50,420
-So, what do we do?
-Pray.

1024
00:59:51,379 --> 00:59:53,506
-Okay.
-I was kidding.

1025
00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:55,883
-Oh.
-But it's probably a great idea, though.

1026
00:59:58,386 --> 00:59:59,804
[both gasp]

1027
01:00:00,471 --> 01:00:01,306
Come on.

1028
01:00:09,731 --> 01:00:12,066
-You think she can get in here?
-Not if it's locked.

1029
01:00:12,609 --> 01:00:14,569
[Cole] Your door automatically locks,
right?

1030
01:00:17,405 --> 01:00:18,239
[Melanie] Nope.

1031
01:01:17,048 --> 01:01:18,216
[gasps]

1032
01:01:36,150 --> 01:01:38,152
[phone buzzes and jingle plays]

1033
01:01:57,296 --> 01:01:58,131
[gun cocks]

1034
01:02:02,760 --> 01:02:04,178
[pants]

1035
01:02:21,028 --> 01:02:23,990
-I shouldn't have gotten you into this.
-You were being shot at.

1036
01:02:24,073 --> 01:02:25,908
Especially because I was being shot at.

1037
01:02:25,992 --> 01:02:28,828
You're my best friend, I'm sorry.
I'm gonna take care of this.

1038
01:02:28,911 --> 01:02:30,288
-Do you have your phone?
-Yeah.

1039
01:02:30,371 --> 01:02:33,916
-Call the cops. Tell them it's a 10-53.
-Why do you know cop codes?

1040
01:02:34,459 --> 01:02:37,462
Because I used to wanna be a cop
when I grew up.

1041
01:02:39,464 --> 01:02:40,715
You never told me that.

1042
01:02:41,257 --> 01:02:43,176
I know. I only told Bee.

1043
01:02:43,259 --> 01:02:45,094
[Dusty Springfield's "Spooky" playing]

1044
01:02:46,971 --> 01:02:47,805
Are you okay?

1045
01:02:50,183 --> 01:02:51,476
I've had a really bad night.

1046
01:02:52,477 --> 01:02:53,436
♪ And then I stop ♪

1047
01:02:55,104 --> 01:02:56,898
♪ And say "all right" ♪

1048
01:02:57,190 --> 01:03:01,944
♪ Love is kind of crazy
With a spooky little boy like you ♪

1049
01:03:02,612 --> 01:03:06,991
Uh... The last guy I saw get kissed
got stabbed in the head by two knives.

1050
01:03:07,074 --> 01:03:08,201
♪ You always keep me guessing ♪

1051
01:03:08,284 --> 01:03:11,120
♪ I never seem to know
What you're thinking ♪

1052
01:03:11,329 --> 01:03:14,081
Just because she's a psychopath
doesn't mean women are evil.

1053
01:03:16,209 --> 01:03:17,126
I know that.

1054
01:03:20,421 --> 01:03:21,881
I wish all girls were like you.

1055
01:03:21,964 --> 01:03:23,633
♪ And then you smile ♪

1056
01:03:24,133 --> 01:03:24,967
[chuckles softly]

1057
01:03:26,803 --> 01:03:28,137
I'm gonna put an end to this.

1058
01:03:29,096 --> 01:03:29,972
What are you doing?

1059
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:32,558
-Keeping you safe.
-The lock is on the inside, dumbass.

1060
01:03:35,394 --> 01:03:36,604
That was sweet of you.

1061
01:03:39,816 --> 01:03:41,317
I'm really excited we kissed.

1062
01:03:41,901 --> 01:03:43,986
Me, too. Let's make out next time.

1063
01:03:45,321 --> 01:03:46,155
Okay. Bye.

1064
01:03:51,619 --> 01:03:53,246
Come and get me, Bee!

1065
01:03:54,288 --> 01:03:55,414
I'm right here!

1066
01:03:55,623 --> 01:03:56,958
It's just you and me!

1067
01:03:57,250 --> 01:03:58,543
It's just you and me!

1068
01:03:59,210 --> 01:04:00,878
What, you're gonna get shy now?!

1069
01:04:01,629 --> 01:04:03,214
I'm going towards my house!

1070
01:04:03,464 --> 01:04:04,757
I'm right here, Bee!

1071
01:04:04,924 --> 01:04:06,092
I'm right here!

1072
01:04:08,803 --> 01:04:09,971
What the hell?

1073
01:04:10,888 --> 01:04:12,807
Oh, my God. Where is everything?

1074
01:04:13,349 --> 01:04:15,393
[panting]

1075
01:04:18,229 --> 01:04:19,897
[floor creaking]

1076
01:04:20,648 --> 01:04:21,899
Oh, my God.

1077
01:04:27,029 --> 01:04:28,781
[board creaks]

1078
01:04:37,623 --> 01:04:38,749
[gasping]

1079
01:05:10,656 --> 01:05:11,991
[gasps]

1080
01:05:49,862 --> 01:05:51,072
[gasps]

1081
01:06:07,922 --> 01:06:11,008
"Sacrifice... Get your dreams..."

1082
01:06:13,886 --> 01:06:15,721
[both grunting]

1083
01:06:17,598 --> 01:06:19,809
-Get off me!
-I'm gonna kill you!

1084
01:06:20,768 --> 01:06:22,228
I'm gonna kill you!

1085
01:06:24,522 --> 01:06:25,815
Oh, my God!

1086
01:06:25,898 --> 01:06:27,024
Oh, my God!

1087
01:06:28,234 --> 01:06:30,695
What's wrong with you,
you little pervert?

1088
01:06:30,778 --> 01:06:34,198
What? You can't make me feel bad
because I defended myself.

1089
01:06:34,281 --> 01:06:38,285
I knew you wanted me this whole time,
upstairs in your little room jerking off.

1090
01:06:38,369 --> 01:06:40,830
-You're just sick.
-You were trying to kill me.

1091
01:06:40,913 --> 01:06:43,457
I wasn't trying to kill you
by punching your dick.

1092
01:06:43,541 --> 01:06:46,585
[shouts] I've never felt
so violated before.

1093
01:06:47,169 --> 01:06:48,004
Oh, God.

1094
01:06:48,546 --> 01:06:52,174
I only signed up for this dumb shit
so I could have my dream job.

1095
01:06:52,258 --> 01:06:54,176
And instead, what do I have now, huh?

1096
01:06:55,344 --> 01:06:56,178
This.

1097
01:06:56,721 --> 01:07:00,433
One deflated, ugly boob. [scoffs]

1098
01:07:00,516 --> 01:07:03,227
[sobbing] My life is basically over.

1099
01:07:04,687 --> 01:07:08,983
I-- I mean... you're still super hot.

1100
01:07:09,066 --> 01:07:10,776
What kind of job do you want?

1101
01:07:12,820 --> 01:07:13,654
Journalist.

1102
01:07:17,074 --> 01:07:18,576
See, that's perfect.

1103
01:07:18,784 --> 01:07:21,996
Because you're super smart,
and you're hot,

1104
01:07:22,079 --> 01:07:24,040
-and really driven.
-Thank you.

1105
01:07:24,123 --> 01:07:26,876
I could be wrong,
but I don't think it would be hard for you

1106
01:07:26,959 --> 01:07:28,544
to have a cool life.

1107
01:07:29,211 --> 01:07:30,046
Really?

1108
01:07:30,546 --> 01:07:33,799
You think so? You think maybe
we could walk out of this whole thing?

1109
01:07:34,550 --> 01:07:38,054
Just call the police and just,
you know, forget this ever happened?

1110
01:07:38,137 --> 01:07:38,971
Yeah.

1111
01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:40,306
Exactly.

1112
01:07:40,389 --> 01:07:43,601
Do you think I give a fuck
what you're talking about?

1113
01:07:43,684 --> 01:07:45,144
[Allison screams]

1114
01:07:57,323 --> 01:07:58,699
[Cole] Knife. Where's the knife?

1115
01:08:01,494 --> 01:08:03,079
Oh! Dishwasher.

1116
01:08:05,706 --> 01:08:06,540
Mom.

1117
01:08:08,542 --> 01:08:11,045
Are you the one that put the knife
in the dishwasher?

1118
01:08:11,629 --> 01:08:12,463
I think so.

1119
01:08:12,630 --> 01:08:15,049
Can you not do that?
It goes in the butcher block.

1120
01:08:18,135 --> 01:08:19,136
Yoo-hoo!

1121
01:08:20,763 --> 01:08:21,806
Looking for this?

1122
01:08:22,681 --> 01:08:23,974
You still think I'm pretty?

1123
01:08:26,769 --> 01:08:27,812
[yells]

1124
01:08:32,066 --> 01:08:34,527
Oh, you think
I'm scared of a little fire, huh?

1125
01:08:34,610 --> 01:08:36,195
You are dying.

1126
01:08:36,529 --> 01:08:38,489
You, you are dying.

1127
01:08:38,781 --> 01:08:40,074
You ruined my life.

1128
01:08:41,075 --> 01:08:45,121
And now, I'm gonna ruin yours!

1129
01:08:45,204 --> 01:08:46,038
-[screams]
-[gunshot]

1130
01:08:51,669 --> 01:08:53,337
Holy shit.

1131
01:08:54,421 --> 01:08:55,256
[groans]

1132
01:08:56,257 --> 01:08:58,676
I found this in the cop car.
That was so graphic.

1133
01:08:58,759 --> 01:08:59,760
[pants]

1134
01:09:01,262 --> 01:09:02,721
She was so annoying.

1135
01:09:05,724 --> 01:09:06,809
I wanna throw up.

1136
01:09:06,892 --> 01:09:07,852
You and me both.

1137
01:09:09,270 --> 01:09:10,104
Where's Sonya?

1138
01:09:10,396 --> 01:09:12,481
Blown up. Crawlspace.
Where are the cops?

1139
01:09:12,565 --> 01:09:13,858
Ditched them with the car.

1140
01:09:15,401 --> 01:09:16,777
Now I gotta skip town again.

1141
01:09:17,278 --> 01:09:19,363
And that leaves you,
and what to do with you.

1142
01:09:19,446 --> 01:09:22,283
-Any suggestions?
-Are you gonna shoot me?

1143
01:09:22,825 --> 01:09:23,659
No.

1144
01:09:24,076 --> 01:09:27,830
No. I was just shooting around you,
'cause I thought you'd put your hands up.

1145
01:09:31,750 --> 01:09:33,043
I will burn your book!

1146
01:09:36,380 --> 01:09:37,214
Cole.

1147
01:09:39,466 --> 01:09:42,803
-Cole, listen to me.
-No.

1148
01:09:42,887 --> 01:09:45,139
-Cole, listen to me.
-No, Bee! You listen to me!

1149
01:09:46,223 --> 01:09:50,978
I've been hunted,
you've stolen my blood, killed people,

1150
01:09:51,061 --> 01:09:53,981
shot at me,
and just been general assholes all night.

1151
01:09:54,064 --> 01:09:56,942
So, I wanna know
what the hell's going on.

1152
01:09:57,359 --> 01:10:00,738
Cole, you're too young to understand,
okay? Just trust me.

1153
01:10:00,821 --> 01:10:01,947
Fuck you!

1154
01:10:02,031 --> 01:10:02,865
Cole.

1155
01:10:02,948 --> 01:10:04,700
No. You know what? You deserved that.

1156
01:10:04,783 --> 01:10:09,121
What, just because I'm 12 means I get
to be treated like total shit

1157
01:10:09,205 --> 01:10:11,874
by you and Jeremy and everyone else?

1158
01:10:11,957 --> 01:10:14,835
You know what?
You're Don Draper from Mad Men.

1159
01:10:15,085 --> 01:10:17,963
How he's all cool and handsome
and everybody loves him,

1160
01:10:18,047 --> 01:10:21,008
then he goes home and you find out
he has a wife the whole time.

1161
01:10:21,091 --> 01:10:24,637
-He's such a piece of shit!
-Did you just ruin Mad Men for me?

1162
01:10:25,471 --> 01:10:27,514
It's not even on anymore. You'll live.

1163
01:10:27,598 --> 01:10:28,724
Still.

1164
01:10:31,227 --> 01:10:34,146
-What happens when you leave here?
-What do you mean?

1165
01:10:34,230 --> 01:10:35,940
-I will burn this!
-Okay.

1166
01:10:36,148 --> 01:10:38,609
Cole... what do you want to know?

1167
01:10:41,237 --> 01:10:42,321
What's the blood for?

1168
01:10:42,655 --> 01:10:46,242
You mix the blood of the innocent
with the blood of someone sacrificed,

1169
01:10:46,909 --> 01:10:48,077
recite the verses,

1170
01:10:48,160 --> 01:10:49,828
while dripping it on the page.

1171
01:10:50,871 --> 01:10:53,082
And, basically, you get whatever you want.

1172
01:10:56,710 --> 01:11:00,798
I used to be so small... and so scared.

1173
01:11:03,425 --> 01:11:06,845
Now I'm strong... and I'm confident...

1174
01:11:08,597 --> 01:11:10,224
and that's all I ever wanted.

1175
01:11:13,727 --> 01:11:15,521
And, so, that's all I was to you.

1176
01:11:18,857 --> 01:11:21,568
You just used me to get what you wanted.

1177
01:11:22,695 --> 01:11:23,529
No.

1178
01:11:25,239 --> 01:11:26,782
No, Cole. I chose you.

1179
01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:30,286
I mean,
I could've shot you and not Allison,

1180
01:11:30,369 --> 01:11:31,912
but I didn't. I chose you.

1181
01:11:32,621 --> 01:11:33,914
'Cause you're the best.

1182
01:11:34,623 --> 01:11:36,250
We click, right? You're my guy.

1183
01:11:40,713 --> 01:11:42,548
I'm not the first kid, am I?

1184
01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:49,972
No.

1185
01:11:50,931 --> 01:11:53,976
And you'll leave here
and just find another faucet.

1186
01:11:54,518 --> 01:11:58,480
-You heard that?
-I heard everything. This is my house.

1187
01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:01,150
Okay.

1188
01:12:02,401 --> 01:12:03,277
Okay, yes.

1189
01:12:04,653 --> 01:12:07,698
And tonight sucked,
but we can start again.

1190
01:12:12,369 --> 01:12:13,495
So, you have a plan?

1191
01:12:14,121 --> 01:12:16,206
Yeah. We just say they attacked us.

1192
01:12:17,541 --> 01:12:18,375
I got him.

1193
01:12:19,335 --> 01:12:20,210
Whoo!

1194
01:12:32,264 --> 01:12:34,308
Plus, dude, we would have so much fun.

1195
01:12:35,642 --> 01:12:37,478
Just you and me against the whole world.

1196
01:12:38,020 --> 01:12:39,938
No one will ever hurt you ever again.

1197
01:12:40,022 --> 01:12:43,275
There'll be nothing left to be afraid of.
Isn't that what you wanted?

1198
01:12:47,738 --> 01:12:48,906
What do you say, Cole?

1199
01:12:54,203 --> 01:12:55,037
I guess...

1200
01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:01,794
I guess I have a plan, too.

1201
01:13:04,338 --> 01:13:06,006
No!

1202
01:13:06,423 --> 01:13:07,549
No!

1203
01:13:08,842 --> 01:13:09,718
No!

1204
01:13:11,929 --> 01:13:13,055
[Bee screaming]

1205
01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:26,193
[Queen's "We are the Champions" playing]
♪ I've paid my dues ♪

1206
01:13:26,860 --> 01:13:27,903
[boy] Pussy!

1207
01:13:28,487 --> 01:13:29,863
♪ Time after time ♪

1208
01:13:29,947 --> 01:13:32,408
-When you're ready, you're ready.
-A lot of things are scary.

1209
01:13:32,491 --> 01:13:34,201
♪ I've done my sentence ♪

1210
01:13:34,743 --> 01:13:35,953
You gotta figure out what you want...

1211
01:13:37,788 --> 01:13:40,958
-and then do what you can to get it.
-Keys...

1212
01:13:43,252 --> 01:13:45,963
-Cole!
-[engine revving]

1213
01:13:50,300 --> 01:13:52,553
Ten. Two.

1214
01:13:53,470 --> 01:13:57,891
♪ And I need to go on and on
And on and on ♪

1215
01:13:57,975 --> 01:14:03,564
♪ We are the champions
My friends ♪

1216
01:14:05,774 --> 01:14:10,446
♪ And we'll keeping on fighting
Till the end ♪

1217
01:14:10,988 --> 01:14:12,156
Yeah!

1218
01:14:13,574 --> 01:14:16,702
♪ We are the champions ♪

1219
01:14:16,785 --> 01:14:20,873
♪ We are the champions ♪

1220
01:14:20,956 --> 01:14:23,792
♪ No time for losers ♪

1221
01:14:23,876 --> 01:14:27,796
♪ 'Cause we are the champions ♪

1222
01:14:28,422 --> 01:14:29,631
[Cole screaming]

1223
01:14:46,607 --> 01:14:47,858
[grunting and panting]

1224
01:15:19,181 --> 01:15:20,349
What up, Cee?

1225
01:15:22,893 --> 01:15:25,187
You drove a car into your house.

1226
01:15:28,148 --> 01:15:29,816
I really didn't see that coming.

1227
01:15:30,317 --> 01:15:31,443
[coughing]

1228
01:15:37,866 --> 01:15:39,076
You never told me...

1229
01:15:40,911 --> 01:15:42,913
your intergalactic dream team.

1230
01:15:43,872 --> 01:15:44,957
You didn't ask.

1231
01:15:45,582 --> 01:15:46,500
I should have.

1232
01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:49,586
I'm usually pretty good at that stuff.

1233
01:15:55,175 --> 01:15:56,843
Admiral Adama to lead.

1234
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:02,307
Data for his intelligence and cool head.

1235
01:16:05,561 --> 01:16:06,603
Predator to fight.

1236
01:16:10,399 --> 01:16:11,275
Then me and you.

1237
01:16:13,777 --> 01:16:14,695
[chuckles]

1238
01:16:18,198 --> 01:16:20,576
You didn't say we could add ourselves.

1239
01:16:22,411 --> 01:16:24,788
It's science fiction. You can do anything.

1240
01:16:26,456 --> 01:16:29,459
Well... I guess that's true.

1241
01:16:33,297 --> 01:16:34,673
But don't you get it yet?

1242
01:16:39,886 --> 01:16:41,388
I am the big bad.

1243
01:16:45,392 --> 01:16:46,476
I loved you.

1244
01:16:54,693 --> 01:16:59,489
I don't care about your dumb book
or your stupid cult.

1245
01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:01,825
I'm an adult...

1246
01:17:02,701 --> 01:17:05,329
because when I realized
you were the big bad...

1247
01:17:06,413 --> 01:17:07,456
and you betrayed me

1248
01:17:07,539 --> 01:17:09,458
and were just gonna hurt other kids,

1249
01:17:10,751 --> 01:17:12,961
I drove a stolen car through you.

1250
01:17:14,630 --> 01:17:15,839
[sobbing]

1251
01:17:20,510 --> 01:17:22,179
That, I'll give you. [chuckles]

1252
01:17:25,766 --> 01:17:26,725
I'll see you, Cee.

1253
01:17:31,855 --> 01:17:32,689
Goodbye.

1254
01:17:34,316 --> 01:17:35,317
[chuckles]

1255
01:17:55,879 --> 01:17:58,131
[sirens wailing]

1256
01:18:14,481 --> 01:18:15,691
-[Melanie's dad] Martinez.
-Yeah?

1257
01:18:15,774 --> 01:18:17,401
Protect and serve, idiot.

1258
01:18:17,484 --> 01:18:19,319
-[Melanie] It's just a car.
-Protect my car.

1259
01:18:19,403 --> 01:18:21,488
Just a car?! Just a car?!

1260
01:18:22,614 --> 01:18:24,574
Do not-- Put your hand down right now.

1261
01:18:27,119 --> 01:18:30,122
-I thought you were gonna drive away.
-I couldn't leave you.

1262
01:18:31,623 --> 01:18:32,999
That was such a douche car.

1263
01:18:33,500 --> 01:18:35,502
Melanie, get over here.

1264
01:18:35,585 --> 01:18:37,671
Get back here. Now.

1265
01:18:41,133 --> 01:18:41,967
Bye.

1266
01:18:42,509 --> 01:18:43,969
[Melanie's dad] Oh, my God.

1267
01:18:44,052 --> 01:18:47,097
Did you just put your face on him?
Wanna go get tattoos now?

1268
01:18:47,347 --> 01:18:48,557
Yo. What happened?

1269
01:18:49,516 --> 01:18:51,226
Dude, Cole stole a car.

1270
01:18:51,309 --> 01:18:53,729
Rammed his house. Killed, like, 50 people.

1271
01:18:54,896 --> 01:18:57,149
Fifty people. [scoffs]

1272
01:18:57,899 --> 01:18:59,693
[Jeremy] Hey, let's get out of here.

1273
01:19:01,486 --> 01:19:03,029
Today, y'all. Let's go.

1274
01:19:09,995 --> 01:19:11,246
The hell?

1275
01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:13,999
[tires screeching]

1276
01:19:14,750 --> 01:19:15,709
Cindy.

1277
01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:19,004
-[Mom] Do you have my son? Please...
-[Dad] Cole.

1278
01:19:21,673 --> 01:19:23,675
[Mom] Honey. Honey. Oh, my God.

1279
01:19:25,385 --> 01:19:26,636
Are you okay? Are you...?

1280
01:19:26,887 --> 01:19:28,722
-I'm okay.
-[Dad] Are you all right?

1281
01:19:28,805 --> 01:19:30,807
-Oh, my God. What happened?
-Is that blood?

1282
01:19:30,891 --> 01:19:33,268
Hey. What happened?

1283
01:19:39,691 --> 01:19:41,610
I don't need a babysitter anymore.

1284
01:19:47,032 --> 01:19:51,286
♪ When my best friend said
She had lost her man ♪

1285
01:19:51,369 --> 01:19:54,498
♪ To her babysitter
I thought she was lying ♪

1286
01:19:55,040 --> 01:19:59,211
♪ I said, "No 16-year-old schoolgirl ♪

1287
01:19:59,294 --> 01:20:02,714
♪ Would ever take a man of mine" ♪

1288
01:20:04,341 --> 01:20:08,178
♪ Staying home
With our baby all the time ♪

1289
01:20:08,261 --> 01:20:11,681
♪ It kept me kind of brokenhearted ♪

1290
01:20:11,807 --> 01:20:15,477
♪ So I went
And hired myself a babysitter ♪

1291
01:20:16,603 --> 01:20:19,940
♪ And that's when my trouble all started ♪

1292
01:20:20,690 --> 01:20:24,194
♪ This 16-year-old chick walked in ♪

1293
01:20:24,778 --> 01:20:27,697
♪ With a skirt up to her waist ♪

1294
01:20:28,448 --> 01:20:32,619
♪ She had a truckload of you-know-what ♪

1295
01:20:33,119 --> 01:20:35,705
♪ And all of it in place ♪

1296
01:20:36,832 --> 01:20:39,709
♪ I should have been aware, mm-hmm ♪

1297
01:20:39,793 --> 01:20:42,712
♪ Ooh-ooh, of the babysitter ♪

1298
01:20:43,338 --> 01:20:47,926
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
I should've known from the jump, yeah ♪

1299
01:20:48,802 --> 01:20:51,721
♪ She was a man-getter, mm-hmm ♪

1300
01:20:52,806 --> 01:20:56,017
♪ I should've been aware, uh-huh ♪

1301
01:20:57,269 --> 01:21:01,314
♪ Of the babysitter ♪ [shouts]

1302
01:21:01,398 --> 01:21:04,109
♪ Should've the known from the jump
Yeah ♪

1303
01:21:05,318 --> 01:21:08,989
♪ She was a man-getter
Yeah, she was ♪

1304
01:21:20,375 --> 01:21:24,170
[indistinct radio chatter]
NOTE: This is a transcription of the spoken dialogue and audio, with time-code reference, provided without cost for your entertainment, convenience, and study.  This version may not be exactly as written in the original script; however, the intellectual property is still reserved by the original source and may be subject to copyright.

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The Babysitter stars Judah Lewis; Samara Weaving; Robbie Amell; Hana Mae Lee; Bella Thorne; Emily Alyn Lind; Andrew Bachelor; Doug Haley; Leslie Bibb; Ken Marino; Samuel Gilbert; Zachary Alexander Rice; Doc Duhame; Jean Claude Leuyer, and more!

About the Author

I used to be the guy who did that thing on the show you never heard of. Now I'm the guy who does stuff and another thing. I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm an idiot.

Website: https://8flix.com

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