Black-Mirror-Script-S4-Ep4

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Black Mirror (2011)

 episode script

season 4 - episode 4
"Hang the DJ"

Created by

Charlie Brooker

Written by

Charlie Brooker

Black Mirror Logo

S04-Ep.04: "Hang the DJ"

Paired up by a dating program that puts an expiration date on all relationships, Frank and Amy soon begin to question the system's logic.

TRANSCRIPTION

1
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,920
-Coach.
-[device] Yes, Frank?

2
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,960
-Where do I go?
-[device] Proceed to the hub.

3
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:45,360
Got ya.

4
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,600
[chattering]

5
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:29,880
-How will I know who he is?
-[device] This is him.

6
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,360
-[Frank] Hi. Oh, oh.
-[cutlery clatters]

7
00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:39,400
Sorry. Fork.

8
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,320
-Amy.
-No, no, my name's not fork.

9
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,480
-I guessed. It was just--
-It's Frank.

10
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,640
-Do you wanna sit? Shall we sit?
-I think it's that or stand. [laughs]

11
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:47,920
[Frank] Come sit, yeah?

12
00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,520
Oh, oh! That's, um... I was on that side.

13
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:53,920
-Oh. Shall I...?
-No, no, it doesn't matter.

14
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,640
[Frank laughs]

15
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:57,640
-[Frank] Why bring it up?
-[laughs]

16
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,080
Sorry. I'm so bloody nervous.

17
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:05,560
It's my first time on the,
you know, the system.

18
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,680
-Me too.
-Oh, really?

19
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,520
Yeah, I'm shitting it, mate.

20
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,120
-Come to mention it, you look terrified.
-Do I?

21
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,920
-Yeah, quaking with fear.
-Or maybe shaking with revulsion?

22
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,160
At least you stopped... shitting.

23
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,560
Oh! [laughs]

24
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:20,720
-Are you sure about that?
-[both laugh]

25
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,320
[Amy laughs]

26
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,440
-Shall we stop talking about shitting?
-Maybe order some food? Good plan.

27
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:28,400
Yeah. OK.

28
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,240
-Do you know how we order?
-I think we use these.

29
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,880
-Oh!
-[device] Menu choice already established.

30
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,200
-[Frank] Oh. Ta.
-[waiter] Here you are, sir.

31
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,400
[waiter] And for you, madam.

32
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,600
Well, evidently I'm a pasta girl.

33
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:43,560
Yeah, I'm a, uh...

34
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,960
-[cutlery clatters]
-...fishcake...

35
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:47,800
[laughs]

36
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,200
-[Amy] Hmm.
-[Frank] Mmm.

37
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,200
-It's good.
-Can I try some?

38
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,640
Are we... allowed to do that?

39
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:04,800
Fuck it.

40
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,720
-Yeah, fuck it.
-[Amy laughs]

41
00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:09,960
-Mm. That is good.
-Mm-hmm.

42
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,760
So... we're both first-timers.

43
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:20,760
[Frank] Hmm.

44
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,560
-Shall we check our expiry date?
-Yeah, good plan.

45
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:29,080
Yeah? All right, um,
so I think it's under "info."

46
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:34,080
Yeah, uh, "tap to reveal."
We have to tap to reveal at the same time.

47
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:39,240
-OK. So, on three, two, one. Go.
-[devices beep]

48
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,960
-Twelve hours.
-Yeah, 12 hours.

49
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,800
-OK.
-Bit, um...

50
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,120
-Yeah.
-Bit short.

51
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:49,960
-It is a bit short, isn't it?
-Hmm.

52
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:53,000
Oh. And getting shorter.
I didn't realize it would...

53
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,400
sort of count down like that.

54
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,000
It's sort of sad.

55
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,240
Maybe we should eat quickly.

56
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:03,440
-Yeah. Yeah, maybe we should.
-The race is on.

57
00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,280
-Come on, hurry up.
-[laughs]

58
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:14,800
[Frank] I guess this is us.

59
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,839
And this takes us to the place?

60
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,560
Yeah, suppose so.

61
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,760
-After you.
-[Amy] Thank you. [laughs]

62
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,720
[whispers] It's massive.

63
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:13,920
-[Frank] Here we are.
-[Amy] Yep.

64
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,080
[Amy] Huh.

65
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:23,160
[vehicle drives away]

66
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,920
-Do you wanna open it or shall I?
-You go ahead.

67
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,160
-All right.
-Ha! Too slow.

68
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,960
You're a knob. [laughs]

69
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,200
[door opens]

70
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:44,040
Oh, God. It's a shithole.

71
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,600
-You're kidding.
-I am, yeah.

72
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,600
[Amy chuckles]

73
00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,120
[lounge music plays]

74
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:52,200
[Amy] Ooh!

75
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:59,080
It's nice. I, uh, like that lamp.

76
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,520
-Yeah, it's incredible, that lamp.
-[laughs] Fuck off.

77
00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:16,840
[Amy] Hmm.

78
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,840
Right. That's, uh...

79
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:21,920
[exhales]

80
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,200
There's an en suite.

81
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,640
-Shower or bath?
-Both.

82
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,680
Ah. That's good.

83
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,680
Uh. Well, I'm...
I'm just gonna use the loo.

84
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,800
Yeah, I've got to, uh... over here, so...
[clears throat]

85
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:40,840
Yeah.

86
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:45,520
[Amy clears throat]

87
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,480
OK, seriously, what are we meant to do?

88
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,600
[device] Query too broad. Please narrow.

89
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:57,360
Well, I mean, are we just meant to...
I don't know, like, just go at it?

90
00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,760
-[device] Define "go at it."
-[scoffs]

91
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:00,960
Fucking hell.

92
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,760
So, are we meant to just
have sex with each other?

93
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:07,960
[device] Participants are not required
to take any specific action.

94
00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,520
Yeah, but I mean we can, right?

95
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,600
I mean, people do
if it's just a short time?

96
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,240
[device] If that's your decision.

97
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,720
-It's up to us?
-[device] It's up to you.

98
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:23,640
[exhales]

99
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:26,680
I could just sleep here.

100
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:29,760
Don't be daft.
You'll be scrunched up in a ball.

101
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:33,880
[groans]

102
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:38,920
It's not awful.

103
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,680
The bed's pretty big.
I'm sure we could both fit in it.

104
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:44,960
Yeah, OK.

105
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,880
Must have been mental before the system.

106
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:54,560
How do you mean?

107
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:59,720
Well, people had to do
the whole relationship thing themselves,

108
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,960
work out who they wanna be with.

109
00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:03,880
Hmm. Option paralysis.

110
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,840
So many choices, you end up
not knowing which one you want.

111
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:11,800
Yeah, exactly, and if things seem shitty,

112
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:15,440
they'd have to figure out whether
they wanted to break up with someone.

113
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,440
How to break up with someone.
Fuckin' hell.

114
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:21,160
-Just a nightmare.
-It's not like when it's all mapped out.

115
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,880
God, no. It's so much simpler
when it's all mapped out.

116
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,000
[Frank] Hmm.

117
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,440
-This is weird, though.
-It really is. Hmm.

118
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,480
[door opens and closes]

119
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,920
-Well, then.
-So...

120
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,840
Thanks for being my first.

121
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,200
-[devices beep]
-[Frank] Oh. Yeah.

122
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,960
-[device beeps]
-[Amy] Bloody time.

123
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,200
It was great, you know. You were nice.

124
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,080
-[devices beeping]
-So were you.

125
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,920
If we had this time again,
you would totally get it, by the way.

126
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,160
-Oh, you... You bastard.
-Sorry.

127
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,600
-You'd get it, too.
-Fucked that one up, didn't we?

128
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,840
-Yeah, totally.
-[both laugh]

129
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:57,960
[devices chime]

130
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:24,320
I guess I just don't see the point
in something that short. Twelve hours.

131
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,440
[device]
Even your reaction to a brief encounter

132
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,200
provides the system
with valuable information.

133
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,680
[pants]

134
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:34,360
Yeah, well, I didn't even do anything.
The system thinks I'm a prude.

135
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,480
[device] The system makes
no moral judgments.

136
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:40,000
Yeah, but how do I know she wasn't
the perfect match for me? She was...

137
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,880
[device] Your ultimate compatible other
has not yet been selected.

138
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,400
Yeah, I know, but it's--

139
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,120
[device] The system gains insight
as each participant progresses

140
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,640
through numerous relationships

141
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:52,680
and uses the gathered data to eventually
select an ultimate compatible other.

142
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,280
On your pairing day, I know,
and it always finds your perfect match.

143
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,840
[device] In 99.8% of cases.

144
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,120
But I have to go through
loads of relationships to find it.

145
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,160
-[device] That is correct.
-Great.

146
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,680
-[strains]
-[stone skips four times]

147
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,920
-[device chimes]
-What was that?

148
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,760
-[device] Another relationship.
-What, already?

149
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,600
-[device chimes]
-[Frank] What's this, another one?

150
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,320
[device] That is correct.

151
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,320
[sighs] I'd best go get changed, then.

152
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,720
-[chattering]
-[music plays softly]

153
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,480
Holy fuck. Tell me that's him.

154
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:35,440
[device] I cannot confirm identity
until a personal introduction is made.

155
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:38,880
-Hi.
-Hi.

156
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,160
-[device] Identity confirmed.
-[man clears throat]

157
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,200
-I like your hair.
-Yours is good too.

158
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,960
-It's all my own.
-[Amy laughs]

159
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,360
It's just funny.

160
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,760
[Amy laughs]

161
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:03,320
[Frank] Hi.

162
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,240
I'm Frank.

163
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,480
[woman] Hmm.

164
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,200
Nicola. I've been here a while.

165
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,760
Aye, sorry. I was getting changed.

166
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,960
-Really?
-You started already?

167
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:21,840
-I was hungry.
-Yeah, course, yeah. Sorry.

168
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:28,800
Come on, let's get it over with.
Checking the expiry.

169
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,520
Oh! Yeah, yeah.

170
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,080
[devices beep]

171
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,200
One year.

172
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,720
We've got each other for one year?
Could be a mistake.

173
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,360
-Coach, is this a mistake?
-[device] This is not a mistake.

174
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,200
Jesus fucking Christ.

175
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:52,360
There'll be a reason.

176
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:57,280
[Frank] Thanks.

177
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:02,800
[clears throat]

178
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,960
[cutlery scrapes on plate]

179
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:09,360
Look on the bright side.
Chicken tikka masala.

180
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:10,960
What?

181
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:15,720
Chicken tikka mas-- It's a joke.

182
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:20,240
Right. So you're the sort of person
that makes jokes.

183
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:22,640
[puts cutlery down]

184
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,000
-OK, so on three.
-Two, one.

185
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,040
[devices beep]

186
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,360
Oh. Interesting.

187
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:40,600
Nine months.

188
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:45,520
Well... cheers.

189
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:46,480
Cheers.

190
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:49,720
[exhales loudly]

191
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,000
-[electronic sounds]
-[door opens]

192
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,040
[soft jazz playing]

193
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,200
Pretty much the same as my last one.

194
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:10,840
-How many of these have you had?
-Relationships? So far? Five.

195
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,240
-[Amy] Oh. [laughs]
-I'm an old hand, I suppose.

196
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:15,880
[Amy clears throat]

197
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,160
Listen, I'm just gonna jump in the shower.

198
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,320
-OK.
-Won't be long.

199
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:22,520
[Amy laughs]

200
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,000
[soft jazz continues]

201
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,480
[man] Hey.

202
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,120
Hi.

203
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:54,480
[man] So, listen, if you're OK with it,
this is relationship five for me,

204
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,200
and I've found it's best to have sex
straight away upfront.

205
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:00,440
Right, yeah.

206
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,800
Kind of breaks the ice, gives an early
overview of compatibility and so on.

207
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,720
Yep. [laughs nervously]

208
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,560
-So I'm consenting to everything now.
-[device beeps]

209
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,440
Whenever you feel comfortable
doing the same--

210
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,560
-[device chimes]
-[man clears throat]

211
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:15,760
[panting]

212
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,960
[moaning]

213
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,720
[grunting]

214
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,080
Tikka masala. Just...

215
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,880
-[Frank] What?
-It's a bit tikka masala.

216
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,600
-[Frank] Oh. I'm sorry.
-[Nicola] Talking makes it worse.

217
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:38,600
[muffled] Sorry.

218
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:41,400
No, no, you're gonna have to do it
from behind.

219
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,280
-[Frank] You what?
-From behind.

220
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,760
[moaning]

221
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,000
Bit faster?

222
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:11,560
More motion.

223
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:15,000
Not like that. More motion.
You're all in out, in out,

224
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,440
like you're trying to shut a drawer
into a filing cabinet.

225
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,400
-[Frank] Sorry.
-It's just boring.

226
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,120
Want a bit more side to side.

227
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:25,680
Like this?

228
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,520
No, not really.

229
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,520
[exhales loudly]

230
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,320
[mimics loud exhaling]

231
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:41,600
-[chuckles]
-What was that?

232
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,000
-Nothing.
-Hmm.

233
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,520
[exhales loudly]

234
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,000
[sighs]

235
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,640
[Nicola snores quietly]

236
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,360
[chimes]

237
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,640
[exhales]

238
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,040
Fucking hell.

239
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,280
[Frank] So I can't just walk away?

240
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:35,000
[device] That is correct.

241
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:38,120
One day it will provide you
with the ultimate match.

242
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,880
One day. One day.

243
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,400
[chattering]

244
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,280
[woman] So I'd just like to say,

245
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:33,240
do have faith in the system,
because it does deliver.

246
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,560
-It did for us.
-[both laugh]

247
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,160
[woman] You have so many experiences,

248
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,720
and then one day it pairs you up
with your ultimate match,

249
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,280
the best in show, as it were.

250
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,520
-[imitates dog barking]
-[laughs]

251
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:46,600
Ha.

252
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,120
So if you're having doubts,
just hang on in there.

253
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,880
-Because it really does work.
-[laughs]

254
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:53,680
[light cheering]

255
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,920
[romantic harp music]

256
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,600
Garlic dip. Thanks for that.

257
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,680
-[Amy] Hi. Hi.
-Mm!

258
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,880
-[mumbles]
-Was that, uh, your...?

259
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,800
-Yeah. Nicola.
-Oh. Nicola.

260
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,160
-[Frank] Hmm.
-Ha.

261
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,040
-[coughing]
-[Amy] You OK?

262
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,280
No, you're not being...?
Are you being serious?

263
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:47,240
Oh, my God.
OK, this is happening. OK, um, just...

264
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:49,840
[spits]

265
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,040
[Frank] Oh. Thanks. [laughs]

266
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:55,240
[pants]

267
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:56,600
-You look well.
-Thanks.

268
00:19:56,680 --> 00:20:01,600
I'd return the compliment, but you've just
spat food on my shoe, so...

269
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,960
To be fair, it is a revolting shoe, so...

270
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,680
All the better to kick you with.

271
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:06,760
[gasps]

272
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,240
[laughs] Was that really hard?

273
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,680
-Ouch.
-I'm so sorry. [laughs] Fuck.

274
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,960
[both laugh]

275
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,640
-[Amy] Shit.
-[Frank clears throat]

276
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,240
Oh. Oh! Um... Uh...

277
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,680
Lenny, this is, um, Frank.
Frank, this is Lenny.

278
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,600
-Hi, Lenny. You all right?
-Hi.

279
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,320
We were together for a bit. [laughs]

280
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,880
-A small... small bit.
-Yeah, just before we...

281
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,920
So you two...? Oh. That's... that's great.

282
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,920
So, I mean... it looks like you two
make a great team.

283
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,120
[Lenny exhales loudly]

284
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,960
Yeah. [laughs uncomfortably]

285
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,960
[applause and cheering]

286
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,360
-[Frank] Yeah.
-Um, I'll see you.

287
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:53,280
Yeah.

288
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,600
[Amy breathes heavily]

289
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,720
[Lenny exhales loudly]

290
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,000
[Amy sighs]

291
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:33,440
[Lenny exhales loudly]

292
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,280
-You know that noise you make?
-What noise?

293
00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:45,200
[mimics Lenny exhaling]

294
00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:50,160
-Do I do that?
-Yeah, you do, quite often.

295
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:51,760
Does it bother you?

296
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,640
A bit, yeah.

297
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,840
-I'll try not to.
-OK.

298
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,080
[device chimes]

299
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:18,760
[Lenny exhales loudly]

300
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:23,440
[device chimes]

301
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:30,360
[device chimes]

302
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:41,720
[device chimes]

303
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,160
[device beeps]

304
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,360
So it's been great, really.

305
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:00,320
-Shame it has to end.
-But end it must.

306
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:02,560
Anyway...

307
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,720
[device beeps continuously]

308
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:12,000
-OK, bye.
-[beeping stops, device chimes]

309
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,560
[device alert sound]

310
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,080
Another partner already?

311
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:25,960
[device] That is correct.

312
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,320
So, three, two, one, go.

313
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,680
[devices chime]

314
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:47,400
Thirty-six hours?

315
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,280
[panting]

316
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,200
Well, uh... bye.

317
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,200
-Bye.
-Bye.

318
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,600
[Amy] Three, two, one.

319
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,880
[devices chime]

320
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,960
[inaudible dialogue]

321
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:37,600
[devices chime]

322
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,240
[device alert sound]

323
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,400
[device beeps continuously]

324
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:05,960
[exhales]

325
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,440
[device chimes]

326
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,480
-I just wanna say--
-Don't.

327
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:22,120
Well, I learned what it's like to cohabit
with someone I despise.

328
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,720
-Is that useful for the system?
-[device] Everything happens for a reason.

329
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:26,880
[scoffs]

330
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:29,480
[device alert sound]

331
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,120
That's sooner than I expected.

332
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:35,880
[sighs]

333
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,760
-[music plays softly]
-[chattering]

334
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,000
-[laughs] Hello, you.
-Hi.

335
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,160
[Amy] Hi.

336
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:56,920
[Frank] Is this right?

337
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,600
-[Amy] Yeah.
-[Frank] I mean...

338
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,480
Yeah, I didn't think the system
would hook us up again.

339
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,040
No, me neither. I mean,
I hope it's right, obviously, but...

340
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:08,720
-Coach, are we sat at the right table?
-[device] Yes, that is correct.

341
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,000
[laughs] OK, well...

342
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,840
Wait, um...
Can we not check the expiry date?

343
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,280
-Uh... Why?
-Just sick of it.

344
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:21,840
The system's just bounced me from bloke
to bloke, short fling after short fling.

345
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,360
I know they're short flings,
they're just meaningless,

346
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,160
and I get really detached.
It's like I'm not really there.

347
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:31,560
So the other week, I was with this guy,
God knows who, basically just a haircut.

348
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:34,560
And I literally had
this out-of-body experience.

349
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:37,640
I wandered out of my body,
and I sat in this chair across the room

350
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:41,200
and I watched myself fucking this guy.
And I was, like, what is that all about?

351
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,280
That is literally just a dick
going in and out of a hole.

352
00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:46,720
-Yeah, that's pretty detached.
-[Amy laughs]

353
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:50,000
When it's a long-term thing,
it's just as bad,

354
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,560
watching the clock like you're a prisoner,
counting the hours, the minutes.

355
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:55,240
-Oh, God, I've been there.
-Yeah.

356
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,440
-Yeah, let's not check the expiry, then.
-Yeah.

357
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,640
-It's a deal.
-Deal.

358
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,200
-[Amy] OK.
-[Frank] Bring on les fishcake.

359
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,800
-[laughs]
-[Frank] I don't know.

360
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:13,360
[device chimes]

361
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:21,600
-So?
-So...

362
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,280
-Might as well.
-I suppose we have to.

363
00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:30,000
-Don't know how much time we've got.
-Yeah, it could be ten minutes.

364
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,680
-Think you could last ten minutes?
-Fuck off.

365
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:34,040
[laughter]

366
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,920
All right. OK, then.

367
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:44,680
Wait. One of us should
get undressed first.

368
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,280
-Why only one of us?
-It'll be funny.

369
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:50,680
-Go on then. Get your kit off.
-[laughs]

370
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,920
No. No, it was my idea.

371
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,040
[Frank laughs]

372
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,040
All right.

373
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:58,640
[belt buckle rattles]

374
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,560
This is kind of emasculating.

375
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,440
Well, then, you'd better
make up for it in a minute.

376
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,120
-♪ I'm gonna see your dick ♪
-[laughs]

377
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:12,840
[laughs] Sorry.

378
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,960
-♪ I'm gonna fucking see it ♪
-Yeah, OK. Yeah--

379
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:55,840
What if there is no scrutiny, it's just
putting us together in any old order,

380
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:59,480
and we all go along with it 'cause they're
always telling us how clever it is?

381
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:04,200
Yeah, but it does put people with the one.
It's got a 99.8% success rate.

382
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,280
But how do you know
they're perfect matches?

383
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:10,800
I mean, what if all it's actually doing
is gradually wearing us down,

384
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:13,280
putting us in one relationship
after another

385
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,840
for random durations
in a random sequence?

386
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,760
Each time you get a little bit
more pliable, a little bit more broken,

387
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:24,280
until eventually it coughs up the final
offering and says that's the one.

388
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:28,480
And by that point
you are so defeated and so exhausted

389
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:30,600
that you just accept it, you settle.

390
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:35,440
And then you have to live
the rest of your life

391
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,640
convincing yourself you didn't.

392
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,360
Well done. That's one of
the bleakest things I've ever heard.

393
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,160
[Amy laughs] Thank you.

394
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:52,680
Right. Do you wanna know my theory?
Let's assume the system isn't random.

395
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,000
-It's as sophisticated as they say it is.
-OK.

396
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:58,160
Right, so using these,
it slurps up all your reactions, yeah?

397
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,200
-It builds up a complex profile.
-Mm-hmm.

398
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:05,680
Every crazy thought you've ever had, all
your dreams and your weaknesses and--

399
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,440
-And your mad theories.
-Yeah, like, everything in your head.

400
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:11,080
-Right.
-So if it's everything in your head...

401
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,600
-does it have thoughts?
-All right, so now you're gonna say:

402
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:17,960
[mimics his accent] "What if that's us
and we're stuck in a simulation?"

403
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:19,560
Well, how would we know?

404
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:22,840
-[Frank yelps]
-[Amy laughs]

405
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:24,120
I think that settles it.

406
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,440
I might have been programmed to go "Ow."

407
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,400
OK. [chuckles]

408
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:31,000
[Frank chuckles]

409
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:55,240
[giggles]

410
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,240
-Hey, come here.
-[Amy chuckles] No.

411
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,920
[Amy yelps and laughs]

412
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:34,240
-Coach?
-[device] Hello, Frank.

413
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,080
-I've gotta know.
-[device] What would you like to know?

414
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:45,920
The expiry date for me and Amy.
I need to know how long.

415
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:51,920
You're not gonna talk me out of it?

416
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,960
[device] Would you like me
to talk you out of it?

417
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,120
Yeah. Uh... No. I...

418
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:57,840
Don't know.

419
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,200
[beeps]

420
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:03,840
No, I'm not gonna do it.
I said I wouldn't.

421
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:05,560
We shook on it.

422
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:22,679
-Fuck it.
-[device chimes]

423
00:34:34,199 --> 00:34:36,639
[beeping]

424
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:39,520
-[device] Recalibrating.
-[beeping]

425
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:40,880
[device chimes]

426
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:42,440
[alert beeping]

427
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:43,480
Coach?

428
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:46,680
-Coach.
-Recalibrating. [beeping]

429
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,000
What's happening?
Coach, it's getting shorter.

430
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:50,440
[door opens]

431
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,320
[device] One-sided observation
has destabilized the expiry date.

432
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:54,400
[device chimes]

433
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,360
-What?
-[device] One-sided observation

434
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:58,520
has destabilized the expiry date.

435
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,200
Recalibrating. [beeping]

436
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,520
'Cause I looked at it on my own,
it made it shorter?

437
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,440
-[device] That is correct.
-Why?

438
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,560
[device] Everything happens for a reason.
[chimes]

439
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,000
All right, well, undo it, then.
Make it go back.

440
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,680
[device] I cannot do that. Recalibrating.

441
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,040
What if she looks at it?

442
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:16,680
[device] Once shortened,
the expiry date cannot be extended.

443
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:18,120
-[device chimes]
-Why?

444
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,600
[device] Everything happens for a reason.

445
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,600
-Come on. Come on.
-[device] Recalibrating.

446
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:24,000
[beeping]

447
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,280
-When will it stop?
-[device] It will stabilize

448
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,360
once recalibration has completed.
Recalibrating.

449
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,840
Stop it. Stop it. Just...

450
00:35:34,240 --> 00:35:36,080
[device chimes]

451
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,400
[exhales]

452
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,800
[sniffles]

453
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,440
[Amy giggles]

454
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:18,080
You OK?

455
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:19,880
Yeah, I'm fine.

456
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,680
-All right.
-[Frank] I'm good.

457
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,560
Have you ever had more than four
or less than four?

458
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:52,720
[Amy] What you thinking about?

459
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:55,680
Nothing.

460
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,120
[Amy exhales]

461
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:41,360
All right, seriously, what's up?

462
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,920
[inhales deeply]

463
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,760
-[Frank] I looked.
-Looked at what?

464
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,240
We promised we wouldn't. We shook on it.

465
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:05,400
-Don't you wanna know what it said?
-No. That was the point.

466
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,520
-It's almost done anyway.
-How almost done?

467
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:10,840
We've got, like, an hour.

468
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,880
-[sighs]
-Why didn't you tell me this before?

469
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,600
-Didn't wanna spoil today.
-And this hasn't spoilt it?

470
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:26,920
It was supposed to be five years,
but now...

471
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,280
[exhales loudly]

472
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,520
I looked at it, something happened,
it started going down.

473
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,560
-I don't know what it was.
-So you broke it?

474
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,640
No, no, no, no, no.
I mean, I don't... I don't know.

475
00:38:36,720 --> 00:38:37,920
Why did you have to look at it?

476
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:41,120
Look, I was thinking maybe
we could overcome it somehow.

477
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,600
Why did you have to look at it?

478
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:45,000
-Because I like you.
-[sighs]

479
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,840
Like properly, really, I like you.

480
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:50,800
-For fuck's sake. And that wasn't enough?
-That's not the point.

481
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,720
-I looked, but that's not the issue here.
-Are you sure about that?

482
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:56,560
You're more wound up about that
than how short the time is.

483
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,880
Yes, because we had agreed.

484
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,000
-Listen. Listen. Listen.
-[Amy exhales]

485
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,000
-What if we just ignore it?
-We can't.

486
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:06,720
Listen, we'll just fuck the system.
We'll fuck it--

487
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:10,160
-And do what?
-We'll jump out, over the wall, get out.

488
00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:14,400
-There is nothing out there.
-How d'you know? How d'you know?

489
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:19,800
-Amy...
-You've ruined this.

490
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,480
You've ruined it.

491
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:26,640
-Hey, it's nothing.
-[taser crackles]

492
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:29,240
-Amy.
-Don't follow me.

493
00:39:29,720 --> 00:39:31,280
[Frank] Amy, I'm sorry.

494
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:36,440
[Frank] Amy.

495
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:41,520
-[device] Everything happens for a reason.
-[crying] What reason?

496
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:43,640
[device] The system will be assessing
your reaction

497
00:39:43,720 --> 00:39:47,160
to the painful premature termination
of a treasured relationship

498
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:51,600
and will adjust and improve its profile
of your eventual chosen one accordingly.

499
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,440
-[sniffs] You're a great comfort.
-[device] Thank you.

500
00:39:58,320 --> 00:39:59,840
[cries]

501
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:04,640
I swear to God,
I feel like scaling the wall out there

502
00:40:04,720 --> 00:40:06,840
and jumping in the fucking wilderness.

503
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,440
[device] That would contravene the rules
of the system.

504
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:13,680
Oh, the fucking system. [sniffs]

505
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:17,520
[device] Failure to comply with the system
may result in banishment.

506
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,480
[shouts] All right, I know.

507
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:23,120
Christ, will you let me be angry at least?
Will you give me that?

508
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:24,680
[sniffs]

509
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:29,080
[device] You must vacate your current
living quarters when the time expires.

510
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:31,000
Like I didn't know.

511
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:34,000
[sighs]

512
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:35,920
[sniffs]

513
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,200
And if I hadn't have looked,
we'd have been together years.

514
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:24,080
She was...

515
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:31,320
You know when you meet someone
and you just know? You just know that...

516
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:34,680
Reckon you could pop this in me now?
I've sort of got jaw ache.

517
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:36,000
Yeah, come on.

518
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:41,880
And after all that,
he never even apologized, not once.

519
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:44,520
That's too bad.

520
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:49,760
Do you mind if I think about her?

521
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:53,560
If I can think about him?

522
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:55,680
Yeah, sound.

523
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,280
[panting]

524
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:08,680
[headboard bangs on wall]

525
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:10,840
One, two, three, four.

526
00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:19,840
One, two, three, four.

527
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:28,040
[exhales]

528
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:35,360
[device chimes]

529
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:40,760
[device] Congratulations, Amy.
Your ultimate match has been identified.

530
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,600
Your pairing day is tomorrow.

531
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:45,560
-Ultimate as in "the one"?
-[device] That is correct.

532
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,920
-And we meet tomorrow?
-[device] That is correct.

533
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,560
Tomorrow you'll be coupled
with your ultimate match

534
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:55,200
and together
you will leave this place forever.

535
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:57,160
OK. [exhales]

536
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:00,120
Are you allowed
to tell me anything about them?

537
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,160
-Do I know them already?
-[device] Negative.

538
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:06,480
-Right.
-[device] There is one more thing.

539
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:07,680
Yeah, and what's that?

540
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:11,400
[device] Prior to pairing day, you have
been allocated a short farewell period

541
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,280
with an individual of your choosing.

542
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:16,080
A farewell period?
Like, I get to say goodbye to someone?

543
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:17,640
[device] That is correct.

544
00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:20,320
Data shows this can help provide
psychological closure.

545
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,120
Frank, I choose Frank.

546
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:25,000
[device] Your choice has been registered.

547
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:33,120
Wait. Where are we meeting?

548
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,720
[device] Usual booth, 7:30 p.m.

549
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:36,800
Right.

550
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,600
-Coach?
-[device] Yes, Amy?

551
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:43,840
Count to four.

552
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,160
[device] One, two, three, four.

553
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,800
[Frank] Wait, wait. How long have we got?

554
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:18,320
[beeping]

555
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:21,560
-[slams table]
-[beeping continues]

556
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,360
Look, the system's set
my pairing day for tomorrow.

557
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:26,160
-Yeah, me too.
-Right.

558
00:45:26,240 --> 00:45:29,760
I don't want whoever the system
reckons the one is, OK?

559
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:31,120
-I want you.
-I want you.

560
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,000
[device] Failure to comply with the system

561
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:34,760
-may result in banishment.
-You can fuck off.

562
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,120
Can you remember where you were
before you came here?

563
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:39,760
[device beeping]

564
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:41,120
You can't, can you?

565
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:44,280
-No.
-Me neither.

566
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,360
-Why can't I think of that?
-It's a test.

567
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:51,760
Do you remember the first night
that we were together? How did you feel?

568
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:57,000
I felt safe, happy, comfortable.

569
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:03,240
It felt right. It felt like something
locked into place, like we'd met before.

570
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,440
Like it had happened before
and it'll happen again,

571
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:08,200
like it's happened a thousand times
over and over again.

572
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:11,280
-Do you know what I mean?
-Yeah. Yeah, I do.

573
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:14,160
Ever since we've met,
this world has been toying with us.

574
00:46:14,240 --> 00:46:16,520
It's trying to keep us apart. It's...

575
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:18,040
It's a test, I swear it is,

576
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:22,120
and the two of us rebelling together
is something to do with passing it.

577
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:25,600
-We've gotta fuck it all off.
-[laughs]

578
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,360
Exactly. We've just gotta
fuck the whole thing off and go.

579
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:30,520
-Yeah, over the wall.
-Right over it.

580
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,760
-No matter what's out there.
-OK.

581
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:34,200
[device beeping]

582
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:35,840
So let's go.

583
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:41,720
Yeah, let's go.

584
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:46,520
[beeping continues]

585
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,160
[device chimes and falls silent]

586
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:09,920
[taser crackles]

587
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:19,720
[crackling stops]

588
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:01,760
[panting]

589
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:12,600
[Amy] Come on.

590
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,080
[panting]

591
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,160
[electronic sound]

592
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:28,240
[electronic sounds]

593
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:41,000
-[rock music playing]
-[crowd chattering]

594
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:49,880
♪ Burn down the disco ♪

595
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:53,320
♪ Hang the blessed DJ ♪

596
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:56,680
♪ Because the music
That they constantly play ♪

597
00:49:56,760 --> 00:50:00,960
♪ It says nothing to me about my life ♪

598
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:04,160
♪ Hang the blessed DJ ♪

599
00:50:04,240 --> 00:50:07,680
♪ Because the music they constantly play ♪

600
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:11,880
♪ On the Leeds side-streets
That you slip down ♪

601
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:15,360
♪ The provincial towns you jog 'round ♪

602
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:18,600
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

603
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:22,480
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

604
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:25,720
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

605
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:29,360
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

606
00:50:29,720 --> 00:50:33,080
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

607
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:37,000
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

608
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:40,440
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

609
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:44,080
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

610
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:48,040
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

611
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:51,640
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

612
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:55,400
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

613
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:59,080
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

614
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:02,480
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

615
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:06,520
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

616
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:10,080
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

617
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:13,520
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

618
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:17,200
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

619
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:20,800
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

620
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:24,840
♪ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ ♪

621
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:27,040
♪ Hang the DJ ♪
NOTE: This is a transcription of the spoken dialogue and audio, with time-code reference, provided without cost for your entertainment, convenience, and study.  This version may not be exactly as written in the original script; however, the intellectual property is still reserved by the original source and may be subject to copyright.

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I used to be the guy who did that thing on the show you never heard of. Now I'm Head Nincompoop here, writing about binge-watching.

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